Home Scandal and Gossip The existential quandary continues; which bikini will you be wearing to the...

The existential quandary continues; which bikini will you be wearing to the beach? Scallywag wonders.

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bikiniAs memorial weekend comes hither we’ve been wondering how you plan to induce wonder, your girlfriend’s jealousy and the attention of some jerk

As everyone knows bikinis (or should know) are worn to bathe in, that of course is just a guise as you use this past winter’s diet suffering, 6.am running excursions and credit card to affect that nonchalant look which says – “Hi, I was thinking of coming for a suntan or a swim, oh by the way did you notice how hot I am? No? I bet you didn’t either…

So here are the bikini choices

1/ the one piece- only to be worn by girls who think they are triathletes and grandmother

2/ the two piece- only to be worn by girls who are in a good mood, have some measure of tone and can manage to affect disregard for any members of the opposite sex. Towel around the waist optional but mandatory in front of obvious predators

3/ The g string- only to be worn by girls who practice pole dancing and a desire to be hit on by every member of the male and even female species.

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  • anonymous

    one pieces are no longer considered an athlete or ancient choice. a lot of people find them sexy and fashionable and a much more flattering and confident-inspiring way to indulge in good weather. please don’t contribute to women feeling frumpy in designer one pieces because they don’t look it and feel happier that way.