Home Scandal and Gossip Never mind god still loves you. Alaska Airlines to stop offering prayer...

Never mind god still loves you. Alaska Airlines to stop offering prayer cards on flights.

SHARE
God wants to remind you that he's always watching over you...
God wants to remind you that he's always watching over you...

Image via Shutterstock]

Say a prayer for the dying flying….

Kids who would of thought that you could also get a prayer card on your flight these days. Not me, and probably not you unless of course you were a frequent flier on Alaska Airlines. Well to be precise, a frequent flier on Alaska Airline’s first class, cause them higher ups decided 6 years ago you heathens wouldn’t have much use for religion in the coach unless of course you were sitting up close with God on first class. After all God always rewards those who are willing to pony up a few extra dollars to get closer to him.

seattletimes: Alaska Airlines’ prayer cards always offended Gordon Bowker, not because the Seattle businessman cared what religion they represented, but because they suggested in-flight prayer was a good idea.

In flight prayer a good idea? Kids, well it can’t be as bad as Ryanair’s suggestion for in house pornright? Well of course that idea hasn’t really taken a hold on account of the squirmy feelings neighboring passengers might have as you tugged dreamt along your favorite porn star. Not that God is a porn star. Well at least not to most of you…

But then again there was always the irksome feeling if they are giving me prayer cards it must be because?

 

a/ they are going to baptise me or one of my fellow passengers over Anchorage.

b/ they were about to hold special communion rights for one of the flight attendant’s whose 10 in flight anniversary it was.

c/ they figured now would be a good time for you to find religion seeing as you were flying over Alaska’s air space, known to all reindeers to be closer to God.

or

d/ they had a premonition that today might be the day you died as the plane went into a steep decline into a snow cap mountain. After all God always likes you to come prepared when you’re about to visit. Unless that is you’re destined for hell.

 

So guess which choice (and I bet most of you) thought was going on when they handed you prayer cards?

Continues Mr Gordon Bowker“My reasoning was, if they put that card on the plate, they must be worried that something bad was going to happen. If they’re worried, I’m worried.”

Well not to mind. Going forward Alaska Air has promised us that come February 1st your first class cache of peanuts and champagne flute will be spared the sight of prayer cards. Which only means one thing; you bixches better start memorizing your prayers once the plane starts a sudden steep decline.

Aren’t you glad you’re not that religious in the first place?

 

 

 

 

SHARE
Like Scallywagvagabond on Facebook