Seth Peter Kelly, Wood River, Illinois drug addict arrested after bringing ‘bad meth’ to police station to be tested for purity levels after ‘allergic’ reaction.
Ahh to be caught in the grips of drug addiction and delusion … This weekend’s badge of madness goes to Illinois man, Seth Peter Kelly who on Tuesday walked into the Wood River police station wanting to know if cops could test to make sure his ‘sh*t was pure’.
Happy to oblige the curios man, Kelly explained he had purchased meth about a week earlier but experienced a ‘bad reaction’ after smoking the ‘good sh*t.’ Kelly told officers he believed he was sold the wrong drug (or was he….?) and wanted to press charges (naturally, wouldn’t you….?) against the individual who sold the ‘bad sh*t’ to him.
In an effort to verify the quality of the product, detectives advised Kelly to come to the police department with the substance so it could be tested. Naturally. Oh dear.
Isn’t it time you beat addiction kids?
Kelly complied, driving to the station and handing detectives a clear, crystal-like substance wrapped in aluminum foil.
The substance field-tested positive for meth — the same drug Kelly said he intended to buy.
Kelly was immediately arrested and charged with possession of meth. He was transported to the Madison County Jail, where he was held on a $5,000 bond.
Stated the Wood River Police Department: ‘Remember, our detectives are always ready to assist anyone who believes they were misled in their illegal drug purchase.’
Kids, isn’t it time you checked into drug rehab like Kelly once he’s finally realized touching rock bottom is the universe staring you in the void?
