Gayle Hendrix, Cape Girardeau, Missouri woman, 79, traveling to Switzerland to end her life as mom of two reflects on her resolve to live life with dignity.
‘My life, my body, my death….’ A terminally ill Missouri woman has revealed she plans to travel to Switzerland where she will end her own life, prior to her debilitating disease making the trek abroad impossible.
Gayle Hendrix, a 79-year-old mother of two from Cape Girardeau, has struggled with lupus and interstitial lung disease for the past four years. Despite what her friends may say, the mom of two claims she is now nearing the end of her life, and wants to ‘end it all,’ with ‘dignity.’
‘My friends will say, ‘But you don’t look or sound or act like somebody who is near death.’ But I am dying, and that’s what I want to control,” the former human-resources worker told 12 KFVS.
‘I’ve had a great life, and I want to have some dignity when I’m going to the next phase.’
‘I don’t want to get to the point of, ‘This is existing, not living,’’ she said, adding that she’s tied to an oxygen machine and can only walk short distances. ‘I’ve had a great life, and I want to have some dignity when I’m going to the next phase.’
Hendrix, originally hailing from North Carolina, was always active and busy prior to her diagnoses, daughter Charlene Foeste told the outlet.
‘She always either had three jobs or she was going somewhere, like to concerts or festivals,’ Foeste said. ‘She was always busy, always.’
Hendrix said she loved to hike, travel, walk and bike — and she always took Foeste to concerts when she was young, fostering a love of music in the next generation.
‘I would love to say I was a poet, a painter and a musician … I have nothing in that arena,’ Hendrix told the outlet. ‘So I think that’s why I took up walking, because I can walk. I was an avid walker, anywhere from 3 to 5 miles a day … every day up until about 3 years ago.’
That’s how she figured out she was sick, the mom told the station.
‘My shortness of breath kept getting worse and worse,’ Hendrix said. ‘Even on flat surfaces, I was breathing heavy.’
‘People are not comfortable talking about death.’
Even before her own sickness, Hendrix had been a decades-long advocate for assisted suicide (aka euthanasia), getting involved with groups such as Compassion and Choices, a Colorado nonprofit that works to open access to aid-in-dying.
That’s how she knew that she wanted her own assisted suicide, whenever the time was right.
‘It just feels like it’s the right thing to do,’ Hendrix said. ‘People are not comfortable talking about death.’
Despite her own daughter not agreeing with her mom’s decision (fear of becoming a burden on family members, increasing degenerating health and pain and loss of quality of life) Foeste is standing behind her mom’s resolve to ‘end her life.’
‘My mom and I are opposites — we really are on everything — we always have been,’ Foeste said.
‘My mom has always walked to her own beat. You know, you don’t have to agree with people, you don’t, but you do have to love and support people.’
In just a few days, mother-daughter will board a plane for Switzerland, where Hendrix plans to end her life on Sept. 26.
‘I don’t want to get that sick.’
‘She’s a very realistic person, she’s always hit issues and problems head-on,’ Foeste said. ‘It is going to be hard, but I know that, and I know sort of what to expect and what the end result is going to be for sure.’
Hendrix, for her part, wants to make sure the deed is done before she’s too sick to travel.
‘When I started seeing more and more decline, like monthly, I can tell this is not as good as it was last month,’ she said. ‘I knew then, if I wanted to do it when I’m still able to walk in and still make the trip, then I need to do it soon.’
Although up to ten US states have assisted suicide laws on the books, they all have residency requirements.
The two that don’t — Oregon and Vermont — mandate that the person can’t have more than six months to live.
‘I don’t want to wait that long,’ Hendrix said. ‘I don’t want to get that sick.’
Hendrix already knows what is to follow leading up to her own death— doctors will put an IV in her arm, and the first drug will put her to sleep while the second stops her bodily functions.
‘In 5 minutes, it’s done,’ she said.
Her body will be cremated, and her remains will be sent back to Missouri.
Quality living
Despite the finality of her act, Gayle Hendrix says she’s not nervous.
‘I was just sitting here while I was describing this thinking, ‘I sound like a clinician, I don’t sound like someone talking about my own death,’’ she said. ‘But it’s because I’m so, I’m comfortable with my decision.’
That though doesn’t diminish the weight of loss her family feel.
‘It’s a huge loss, a huge loss for us,’ Foeste said. ‘It’s not going to be the same. It’s just not.
‘I can’t say I agree with her decision, I don’t,’ the daughter added. ‘But, it’s not my choice. I do love her and support her, and there’s no way on the planet my mom is going to do this alone, no way.
‘It’s been hard, but I’ve been blessed to have her as my mom,’ Foeste said.
Hendrix knows she will miss out on potentially more quality living, but doesn’t want to take the chance of ending up in a hospital bed.
‘I just am peaceful about my decision, and it’s the right thing for me and my body,’ Hendrix said.
‘I can’t say I agree with her decision, I don’t,’ Foeste said. ‘But, it’s not my choice. I do love her and support her and there’s no way on the planet my mom is going to do this alone, no way.’
Hendrix said she hopes that even if you don’t support her choices, that you take the time to talk about your final wishes with your loved ones.
She said it will make it easier on everyone when the time comes.
