Getting zombied is worse than ghosting: the new dating trend which leaves lovers in psychological turmoil and angst as featured in Mariel Darling TikTok video.
A recent TikTok video has put us all on notice about a new horrible dating trend, supposedly worse than ghosting and according to singer songwriter Mariel Darling, very much here to stay.
‘Girl, you’re being ghosted? I’m being zombied,’ she shared with her 255,900 followers on the platform.
‘It’s like ghosting, but he comes back from the dead after a couple of months and hits you up,’ the singer explains in the video with over 1.5 million views and 151,100 likes.
In a follow-up video, she added that dating in New York City is very much like a zombie apocalypse ‘mixed with the ‘Thriller’ music video because all these boys are tap dancing around commitment.’
People in the comments agreed and shared their personal ‘zombie’ experiences.
‘Women getting a taste of their own medicine?’
‘Have you ever noticed that they all zombie you at the same time? Like why are four guys from my past all hitting me up on the same day???’ one person said.
‘Mine has a Jesus Christ complex, he comes back every 3 days,’ another joked.
‘It’s because the girl he thought was better than you realized he’s terrible and ghosted him!’ someone suggested.
‘I think I’m being zombied. One day he ignores me, one day he looks at me as if I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and texts me till 3 am,’ a user admitted.
‘This just happened to me. Only I went out with the guy twice, SIX years ago!’ one person said.
Reflected a male dater: ‘Women getting a taste of their own medicine?
There is no man alive today that didn’t experience these female zombies. Every man has at least one story of a woman that he was interested in that vanished just to reappear months or years later. Men experienced this before the internet was invented.’
Lack of accountability
According to dating expert Samantha Jayne, the jarring dating trend has been around as long as relationships have been, and players love to zombie.
‘It can be extremely damaging and confusing. Impacts self-confidence and leaves someone feeling anxious about abandonment, then when that person reappears can give a sense of hope and a painful reminder of the random departure,’ she told News.com.au.
‘When an old flame you are over returns out of the blue without an explanation and expects things to be normal, it is cruel and can leave you feeling bewildered. Remember this person is appearing with no accountability and expects things to be back to normal as to where they left off,’ Jayne said.
Author’s personal emphasis on cruel kids.
She shared that there are two main reasons people zombies — one being that the person is bad at communication and doesn’t know how to end things.
For the poor communicators, time eventually passes and they try to reconnect since they ghosted the person due to their own anxieties and insecurities.
‘Give yourself closure’
The other reason is more ‘malicious’ and is used as a strategy. Probably the ‘strategy’ that leaves a lasting impression of gaslighting and causing the victim to suffer degrees of neuroses and psychological angst. Which might be the perpetrator’s way of telling you that you were spared a lifetime of ongoing emotional and psychological trauma.
Which posits the question, what brings the zombie?
‘They got back with an ex, met someone new and you are their backup plan,’ Jayne contemplated. ‘They suddenly feel lonely, have run out of options, and know that you are a sure thing to massage their egos until they find the next one.’
‘Basically, they treat you like a doormat, so they reappear while disappearing again when they have a better option,’ she continued.
Nevertheless Jayne reminds recipients of zombies that they are the one in power.
‘You can decide to delete their message, ignore it, after all this seems to be their style of communication and will send a strong message, or if you truly want an explanation, then ask. See what they come up with,’ she explained.
‘Be mindful it could be them crawling back only to do it again, so often it’s not the best idea to dig up a zombie. You could also use this as an opportunity to have a say with a short message that allows you to have a voice.’
