While starting divorce proceedings may be one of the hardest things to emotionally undertake, research indicates its a growing trend. But at what cost?
Divorce is one of the most emotionally difficult events a person may experience in his or her life. The number of spouses’ separations grows every year, and we cannot say the same about the number of marriages.
With each passing year, we have fewer marriages and more divorces. There appeared legal alternatives to marriage, they become more and more widespread, and legislation of many countries has to adapt to this phenomenon and undergo some changes in order to regulate somehow the situation in this domain. Why is it so that we divorce more easily than our parents did, let alone our grandparents?
There are some concrete reasons for that:
- We are not so patient as our parents were and now have no wish to tolerate many, even small problems in our relationships we are not satisfied with.
- Our living standards have become much better. Women have become more independent, have higher earnings and are more self-sustaining. They think they can cope on their own and start separation more easily, without worrying much about the effects of divorce.
- Divorce is a widespread phenomenon, and we won’t be much condemned by our society for having done it, as the society and even the Church have to adapt to the real situation.
- The world around us is rapidly changing, and we are more inclined to change our lives and change our partners.
Suppose ten or even twenty years ago you were the happiest couple in the world, but time passed, and now you live in one house and feel like complete strangers to each other. But divorce start is difficult to both of you. You both understand that you can’t live with your partner anymore, your husband irritates you, and your presence irritates him, and you just wait every time for him or her to go somewhere for some period of time and leave you alone. You can’t discuss anything with your spouse, can’t bring up kids together as you have different views on the whole process.
But none of you is hurrying to initiate separation proceedings, and there are numerous reasons for that:
It is hard to start a divorce if you still hope to return the good old times when you were happy together. You delay this difficult moment as long as you can manage that, but you don’t understand that nothing in your life can change, and your unhappiness affects your kids, especially if they are witnesses of abuse and violence.
Spouses are not ready to feel loneliness, especially during the holidays. Of course, getting a divorce is much easier if you have plans of the second marriage. But in such a case you may feel sorry for your husband or your wife, and you just don’t know how he or she will cope with such tremendous stress.
You have heard how divorce affects children, and you wait until they grow up, hoping that it will be lesser stress for them. Most kids do not want their parents to separate and don’t want to have divorced parents. They love both of them equally, so how can they feel in such situation?
As Customwriting.com homepage research states, separation of parents is especially stressful for teenagers. The adolescent period is difficult for children by itself, and if it is aggravated by parents’ separation, there may be different unforeseen consequences.
Children may suffer from psychological and behavioral problems: isolation, problems in communication with peers, drug or alcohol addiction. They may run away from home, fall in with a bad company or even commit suicide. Smaller children may blame themselves for their parents’ separation, especially if they are the reason of parents’ quarrels.
Women that are victims of domestic violence stay with their husbands as they fear that their abuser will become even more violent and rude if they show a wish to separate. There are women that believe that abuse is their fault. They are afraid they can lose their children and have no possibility to see them.
Nevertheless, if you have taken a decision about a separation, bear in mind that the right divorce advice of professionals, help of relatives and friends can help you in getting through divorce and finding a new sense in your life.