The whole point of a drinking game is to win, and therefore drink as little as possible before returning home triumphant and vastly superior to other party-guests. Actually, if you think that – you’re not welcome to read this article.
No, the proper aim is to drink wildly and wonderfully, in fits of giggles while your chemically-underperforming mind tries to keep up with its surroundings, despite your mouth attempting to sabotage the whole affair by accepting alcoholic gifts. You can eat while you’re playing, or watch TV, or even wear fancy dress from a company such as Morph Costumes for added frivolity.
Here are five simple but lethal games for an evening of debauchery.
I‘VE NEVER
The rules are easy, and gives you a chance to uncover dark and interesting secrets about your fellow drinkers. Each player takes it in turns to make a true statement about themselves, starting with ‘I’ve never’ and if the other people have done what you haven’t, then they drink. There aren’t really any other rules. The more common the better – If you’ve never been to Madagascar or tried luxury truffles then say it, but don’t expect many people to start drinking. However if you’ve never seen the Simpsons, or eaten Chinese food, or watched a tennis game, then expect mass drinking around you. And you could ask some really personal questions…
FILM/MOTD/EUROVISION BINGO
Essentially bingo with drinking! Create a simple 3 x 3 grid and fill it in with things you are likely to see or hear when you watch one of the three options above, and then swap them round with other guests. For example, you could choose Reservoir Dogs – write ‘drink every time you hear a swear word’ or ‘drink when see a gun’, and the person with that card will find themself on their back 17 minutes into the film. Or theme it on Match of the Day – every time a child in a Chelsea shirt appears, or a commentator uses a particular word, then take down a shot. A ‘line’ on the grid is worth another drink, and a full house might be a whole pint.
THUMPER
Silly, noisy, difficult, and above all fun. Each player chooses a hand signal or sign which will represent them during the game, such as simulating a shark’s fin on their head, or goggles, or an elephant trunk (arm!). Everyone presents their sign and the game then begins with one person showing their sign, before doing another person’s sign. That person must follow suit, but if they’re slow or don’t realise, they must drink. Preferably accompanied by table banging, it’s a one-way journey towards oblivion accompanied by ‘moose antlers’ and ‘hand snakes’ – for advanced rules and variations try Surviving College.
MASTER OF THE THUMB
More of an addition to other games than a separate venture, this will soon weedle out the unobservant. Drinkers choose the first ‘Master of the Thumb’, who at some point will place his/her thumb on the table as inconspicuously as possible, perhaps when the games are at their most raucous. The other drinkers must follow, and the last to do so is punished heavily with alcohol. They then become ‘Master of the Thumb’ themselves, and the game starts again.
KINGS
A game of multiple variations, but in its simplest form: take an empty glass and spread a ring of playing cards face down around it. Players take it in turns to draw cards. The first, second and third time a king is drawn, the player receiving the king adds an ingredient to the glass – the poor soul who draws card number four must drink the glass’s three contents. So be warned that if you add washing up liquid, two tablespoons of coffee or 80% rum to the mix you might be drinking it yourself if you also draw king number four. Officially Drunk has other variations of doom here.
