Home Scandal and Gossip Homeless bank robber shares stolen loot with bus passengers.

Homeless bank robber shares stolen loot with bus passengers.

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Elmer McGuirt just wanted to share the love with his fellow commuters…

Have you ever robbed a bank? Have you ever thought about it? And what if you did rob a bank- how would you share the spoils of your ‘labor?’ (or would you just keep it all to yourself you scoundrel?) Or to put it more succinctly how did one homeless bank robber share the proceeds of his efforts as he made his getaway?

gawker: Elmer McGuirt entered a Tampa-area Wachovia branch yesterday afternoon with a threatening note, and walked out with a bag of the bank’s money.

Being homeless, McGuirt did not bring his own getaway car; rather, he availed himself of the services of the Tampa public transportation system. After boarding a bus, Mcguirt (no doubt elated by his recent adventure) “began handing out the money to other passengers, while keeping some for himself – stuffed in his pants.”

I don’t know about you kids, but if some dude came on the bus and started passing bundles of hundreds in my hungry fists I’d be high fiving him- all the while wondering what exactly gives and where the surprise candid camera video recorder was? But rest assured- there was no candid camera- just a too candid over the top elated homeless bank robber. As you can imagine- it didn’t turn out well in the end…

The bus driver pulled over, the police arrived, and McGuirt was arrested for his manic redistribution of other people’s funds. The money was removed from his pants.

Is this as anticlimatic as it gets? And what about all that money in people’s fists- do you think they had to return that too? Well knowing me I would have quickly got off the next exit- feigning ignorance.

The moral of the lesson? Next time you rob a bank and begin to share the proceedings with the passengers, remember to shove a few hundred bundles with the driver too.

Never mind- it will make for a great after dinner story in the penitentiary…

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  • Bypassing Bureaucrats

    Why should we fault poor Elmer,
    Who’s living on the street,
    For taking bits of money
    Without a bank receipt?

    He bypassed welfare hassles
    And bureaucratic rot;
    He went straight for the bankers,
    Who have what he ain’t got.

    I’d call his self-help system
    Both practical and sound:
    He garnished from the richest
    And spread the wealth around.

    And now that he is famous,
    If he can stay alert,
    He may just have a future
    As Congressman McGuirt.