The Bong man: What it says about you. Brace yourselves heathen…
You smoke just about every day, except when your parents come to visit you at college or your “girlfriend” is in town “from Canada.” You played Hacky Sack at one point in your life and own more than one pair of corduroys. You own at least one Phish bootleg and have been to a concert featuring a former member of the Grateful Dead. You once looked up how to make a Gravity Bong on the internet, but you gave up when you ended up soaking wet with burnt fingertips.
In other words you are the committed type and don’t like to hold back. You are the type who when they order pizza to eat in, don’t stop at one slice, you eat the whole pie and that bitches is how you like to smoke the good shit. So let’s take out the bong now and head over to la la land…
The Vaporizer man: What it says about you. Hold back the tears…
You’re old enough to worry about cancer and have a job where you can afford at $550 piece of pot smoking equipment. But your intense smoking habit doesn’t seem to affect your professional or personal life, because you’ve devoted your life to getting stoned. You watch Bill Maher regularly, donate money to Democratic candidates, and have used every device on this list more times than you can remember. You’d pick the Beatles over the Stones in a heartbeat.
You’re the type who actually does drive a Volvo and orders in from Serafina or any other gourmet outlet within a 15 mile radius of your house. Being in la la land is a full time commitment and if you weren’t a white collar professional you’d be a Mick Jagger and Keith Richards hybrid incarnate. In other words you are not to be trusted when you offer to buy us a second drink. Skank!
