Then there are those room mates that bail when the rent is due. They are the ones who keep promising you any day now that they are going to get a job but come the third month you suddenly realize that they are never going to leave their bedroom and that sadly you have been had. I like to call these type of roommates ‘passive aggressive’ degenerates. They don’t actually go out of their way to behave like a nuisance but by their inaction and their own inertia end up becoming a prolonged horror show nevertheless. If you must know they count as the worst room mates because their mental breakdown is the one you end up inheriting not just for one scary night but for 3 terrible nerve wrecking months.
Then there was Jenny who was secretly in love with her room mate Brad. After a while I didn’t have the heart to answer Jenny’s phone calls. If she didn’t have the heart to tell Brad that she was in love with him (while he was lusting with a different woman of the week) how could I have the heart to answer her phone calls. In those instances I call that the ‘self inflicted room mate syndrome’ and no amount of counselling and discussions at 5 am in the morning can resolve their existential dilemma.
As you may or may not know roommates come in all shapes and sizes, and as easy as it is to assume that the most weird looking roommate will end up becoming the worst roommate in your life it sometimes results that the most clean cut looking gal or guy can end up becoming a Patrick Bateman ala ‘America’s Psycho nightmare in your living room mate. Take Mike a semi functional attorney who was prone to the occasional prolonged cocaine binge. At first he’d be the guy you couldn’t help but adore, but by 3 am in the morning you just wanted to shoot him if he one more time brought up his ex girlfriend, wife or what ever. This type of roommate I like to call the ‘over stepping ‘ the boundary room mate that exist in bountiful supply in the city and do an exceptional job of disguising their wicked sensibilities.
This in short is my personal account of the world’s most horrid roommates, and if one leaves you to your memory I am sure you too can drag up some figures that you long ago buried in the back of your head, assuming that they are of course not your current night mare…