What a blogger does effectively is comment on the state of cultural affairs at any given moment in society. He or she may be talking about the color of Lindsay’s underwear, what she said to the deli boy and the way the deli boy ended up making Lilo cry but really what the blogger is really talking about is why such seemingly insidious trash intrigues us. What really isn’t at stake is whether Lilo will make the deli boy return her cellphone pronto it’s whether a young girl almost the same age as the deli boy who doesn’t come from any distinct social class can exact a certain fear and loathing into him and by extension us. In other words we’re eternally more interested to find out how sharp the knife is as opposed to who makes the knife, where you can buy it and how they first came to be used metaphorically speaking.
For this a blogger must be willing to give up friendships, have what’s amiably known as ‘frenemies,’ have a vast array of contacts that he or she can use at any moment to secure passage into an elite event, venue or person(s). A blogger ceases to exist for himself but for the elixir of being the first to break a news story, a gossip, a scandal or the after party. As long as it generates traffic and consequently the admiration of some advertiser who only pays per impression on site.
Traditional print media doesn’t run that way, they write, go for martini lunches, reminiscence about something that happened in the early 80’s write about it after lunch where as a blogger forever reminded he will only get paid if his blogs generate traffic is forever inspired to wonder what articles he or she must write that will generate immediate interest and by extension vast hits and a nice(r) paycheck. Integrity – no, but consistency yes, and forever stories about Lilo.
In any event there a whole bunch of events, rumors, weird personalities and wonderful and horrible things to write about – all day and night. A blogger by extension is hooked onto the valve of society, forever taking their pulse and forever being on call. He is obliged therefore to drink on the job, become best friends with the celebrities, characters that he writes about until in turn they write about him.
A blogger therefore will always be sleep deprived as much as a hot stud will always be in demand and forever complaining of sore pelvis muscles a blogger is loved and desired by his readers for only he understands how to tuck his children to sleep, to pacify them, to intrigue and inspire them but mostly mollify them. In short a blogger by definition will always be sleep deprived in order to ensure his readers their own wonderful sleep and their own walking ever wakeful night mare…