Home Pop Culture The Theory and Etiquette of Infidelity.

The Theory and Etiquette of Infidelity.


how_to_date_a_male_model_image_244_319-1All those taken men who are left holding purses or even those who aren’t. Nothing could stop what I look like and what I thought to hold for them. The body of a woman you’d think was out of your league. A southern tart who represents all that is not the typical New York working girl. I hated knowing that. Knowing that by assumption I was that hot girl you would cheat with on “beloved” with, though never stopping to think, that hot body with the graceful arch in her back or the delicate touch had feelings, too. Willing only because I was in control of knowing what it was, and where it would (not) go. In those moments, I lost myself. While I was in my moment of being not worth loving, it did not matter that I was objectified and used to fulfill some half thought out fantasy of the other person, or of myself..

Now with too much thinking on infidelity under my belt, I must say that an etiquette for it exists which I will now share with you. Due to the controversial nature of such minglings, keeping them proper requires someone out of the picture. Siblings of your partner, co-worker, your best friends’ girlfriend? Bad choices. News travels fast and as time goes by people could easily talk which will not only expose you not only as a cheat but as a liar as well. Other bad choices include the “American Beauty,” so keep the underage fantasies out of fruition. Make sure this someone understands the situation and that you are not available for a real relationship or any of the attachment that comes with it. This protects you from the hundreds of suspicious missed calls or inconvenient and exposing dropping by at your job. R Kelly was trapped in a closet for a reason. Stay in the closet darlings.

Which leads why you should not tell of these events. Not something to be proud of, do not brag about your escapades. Satisfy your needs and sit with it. You are also taking the risk of feeling like a total ass and wanting to do a selfish sin cleanings to your partner. Sure, you feel holy after the confessional, but your partner is left feeling betrayed, royally disrespected and possibly considering a crime of passion. Since it was your prerogative to get busy out there, it is also your cross to bear by keeping your mouth shut. The etiquette of respect for all still applies here.

If encounters of the sexual persuasion are involved, keep things clean. Monogamy is not supposed to know multiple partners. Thank you goes a long way for bloody good sex so give thanks where thanks is due. This is not commitment or profession of true love, simply a mannerly basic. Praise the lover for what they do well, and it could be in your best interests to not get in the habit of saying his or her name. Yes, it sounds heartless but it keeps you from the slip of tongue in the heat of the moment that does not end in your partner glowing next to you but you laying alone, aching to finish. Do not make loud displays in public

When interacting with the taken lover or play mate, do not weave whimsy tales of leaving your partner for your lover, and in the name of all things sacred, do not go back to the lover if your current relationship goes down the drain. It will make you look pathetic and “lover” already knows you like to play on the side from, ehem, experience. The lover is just that, a lover who you should not feel entitled to any of the perks of being in a relationship. A hard pill of truth to swallow, but you should also feel no obligation to include the lover, remember special dates or introduce them to your friends. As the proper terms will be discussed at the beginning of the affair (ie: do this) there will be hard feelings as it was laid down in the infidelity law at the start.

Infidels must also have some tact and know when to stop. Pushing the line on innocent encounter can easily lead you to couples therapy for the rest of time, so when the obsession of variety mounts, stop and consider why you are dating anyone exclusively. Many times the desire of wanting something is better than ever really getting it. Acquire it and the thrill is gone. Use the thrill of mystery and seduction to its full potential yet to do dip in the pool of tainted love so much that you no build a tolerance. Keeping it fresh and frisky is easy when even the little things hit your buttons. Do not numb your buttons or you will be having to go too big, too often to have any respectable standing left. Which then makes you sloppy and boisterous not demure and hidden in a safe haven during the affair. There is much to be said for being moderate and accepting that circumstances to keep everything simple and adequate for both parties.

Heaven help you all who want what you cannot have. If you no longer deny yourself that pleasure, please heed warning this is not fool proof. Cheaters and their victims can get burned, though isn’t that part of the rush that gets this fire started to begin with? Be good at being bad, though do not lose your dignity in the course of these events, chin up chaps!



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