Clint Eastwood would like to remind you all he knows how to beat up empty chairs better than anyone else…
Mitt Romney must be regretting having that hawt birch Clint Eastwood turn up at the RNC last night on his behalf cause that bixch kind of messed things up real good. But then again part of me thinks Mitt was on the inside joke when this shit went down and was simply trying to make us laugh with him and somehow realize that any presidency involving his hawt ass might resemble the shit Clint tried to pull off. And boy did that bixch give it to that empty chair!
Rambling for god knows how long, somehow maybe (tell me if you think so too) thinking he was giving his idol Barack Obama a piece of his mind (or was it just the bogey man from last night’s nightmare?) our collective hero Clint proceeded to give us the meaning of life. Of course the meaning sort of all became muddled up (but who cares, it’s not as if you know any better what the world means either) as Clint continued sparring with that empty chair.
‘Yo bixch, this shit aint’t going to work out!’
Slight pause as Clint soaks in the silent trauma of the chair crying needlessly into its lap.
‘Yeah, I thought so too. And Mitt over there he knows a kitchen table he wants to show you up against too. Stop staring back at me bixch. Just listen for a moment and I’ll straighten this shit out for you!’
Another long pause, the sound of Mitt offstage looking for a rope to lasso that stupid but lovable bixch out of harm’s way and then the sudden sound of Mitt poking himself with a blunt pencil to deflect the excruciating pain running up and down his nervous system
And now Clint smugly retorting ; ‘Yeah I thought you’d see it my way too!’
Mitt shoving a roll of toilet paper up his gizzard cause you know he’s of course shitting bricks but who cares, at 82 years old and fast approaching senility our collective hero Clint still knows how to put on one heck of a show.
‘That’s right, you going to speak back to me punk?! Go on make my day!’
Isn’t it time Clint and Mitt went on a traveling circus performance soon…?