Women the world over are finally on the way of liberating themselves and salivating eager me’s hearts contents as women’s shorts are now said to be getting shorter than ever. No pun intended. Well sort of.
gawker: America’s women, once famed the world over for their purity and tended lovingly by husbands in their kitchens to preserve their precious virtue, are now little more than a gaggle of slatternly harlots, screeching for ever-shorter shorts in a neverending quest to expose greater and greater quantities of naked flesh on their soft, supple upper thighs.
Will this “race to the bottom” not stop until it hits The Female Bottom?
The answer of course is not on your life, well that is if one is to trust an article out of USA Today that suggests the trend for even shorter itty bitty shorts is the preferred way to go and how:
usatoday: Whether cut from day-glo denim, balanced with a blazer or seemingly swiped from an ’80s aerobics class, the ultra-short bottoms are “in every single store,” says Seventeen fashion director Gina Kelly, from Old Navy to Neiman Marcus. Worn with motorcycle boots and Chuck Taylors, high heels and flip-flops, they’re the unofficial uniform of music festival attendees (Vanessa Hudgens) and performers (Rihanna).
And yes, “they’re definitely getting shorter,” says Cosmopolitan fashion director Michelle McCool. Which means the hottest hot pants are skirting the bounds of taste. Miley Cyrus‘ dimunitive Daisy Dukes from last week? The white ones worn with a crop top and without evidence of underwear? “I do not advocate that,” Kelly says.
Kids, this sounds like the liberation of all womenhood that the messiah had promised us back when women were still gracing the street with locks and keys under their Victorian bonnets. Surely every woman must be running to her preferred fashion outlet and desperately insisting that someone sell her the shortest itty bitty short that mankind can possibly muster. I would even harbor to guess garment seamstresses have their hands full with frustrated women who have lapped them with shorts and dresses and demanded that somehow they become shorter. Because shorter means sexier, liberated and a little slutty too.
Yet, lest you women out there with ambitions of turning us men into slobbering apostles not every woman it seems will be able to pull off this interesting trend and if she is to pull it off with finesse (yes ladies if you are going to give it all away some degrees of finesse will help) there are certain must rules she need obey:
Unlike with other fashion trends, “it’s a very unique” woman who can stand tall in the short short. “When it works, it can be adorable,” says designer Shoshanna Gruss, who, for the first time this spring, made shorts — with a 1½- to 2-inch inseam — a more sizable part of her collection. In her 20-woman office, four or five are wearing shorts to work. All are in their early to mid-20s.
McCool, however, turns a cold shoulder to hot pants in the office, “even the Cosmo office,” where interns are “strongly” advised against them. Instead, save scanty shorts for a picnic or party, she says.
And pay attention to proportion: Pair skimpy shorts with an oversized T-shirt or sweater or a tank top worn under a jacket, “so it’s not tiny with tiny,” Kelly says. When shorts are denim, McCool advocates going up a size to stave off thigh squeeze.
So what do you think ladies? Can you continue pulling off those itty bitty shorts? Your liberation might be depending upon it…