Home Scandal and Gossip Sales of new padded pants have sky rocketed as women flock to...

Sales of new padded pants have sky rocketed as women flock to achieve bottoms that resemble Pippa Middleton’s.

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What’s in a hot ass anyway? Apparently quite a lot…

At 19 pounds it mightn’t be the cheapest underwear a woman can get her hands on but then again what’s a few pounds when it comes to achieving your dream posterior…?

Ever since the Duchess of Cambridge got married and her sister, Pippa Middleton had the world chaffing at what a perfect bottom could look like women the world over have seethed in jealousy. Not anymore though…

One department store, Debenhams taking advantage of the desire to emulate the perfect bottom (thanks Pippa) has come up with a novel item that promises to add 2 inches to a woman’s vital statistics of her rear and a whole 15 degrees of curvature.

“When we first got them in, we all laughed,” said one saleswoman. “But people love them. One woman bought a pair then came back for a second. She said they were fabulous.”

Well anything to look like Pippa thank you very much! So how do the pants actually work then, now that I am salivating…?

Discreet, cheek-enhancing structures built into the back of the lining give extra bulk and curvature to the wearer, turning a flat bottom into a competitor for rear of the year.

Control panels at the front also flatten the tummy to emphasise the effect, while invisible seams remove all outlines of the garment when worn underneath clothes.

I see, so flat bottomed girls are out and full bottomed girls are back in. Now isn’t that a relief?

“Widely publicised photographs of Pippa’s shapely behind have made ‘bum envy’ a part of everyday conversation for women all over the UK,” she said. “She has set the standard for how a perfect rear should appear.

“Buying a pair of padded pants gives instant results compared to hours and hours of working hard in the gym – and costs a lot less too. It’s a look we’ve seen on Hollywood celebs such as Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Lopez, but since Pippa has moved into the media spotlight, she has propelled the desire for more junk in the trunk to new heights.”

Working out in the gym? No thanks I have a drinking engagement to attend to and anyway a gal can buy her way into looking anything she wants these days.

But of course the department store does add a caveat.

“However, as a word of caution I think there are really only a particular type of woman who can wear them – or it could be a comical fashion disaster.”

Comical fashion disaster? The Pippa Middleton butt enhancer underwear? I dare not think so, but then again it just may end up being that if us gents try to look the curvy part, but then again maybe I’ll just let my girlfriend buy herself a few pair where upon I can admire her with increased awe.

Isn’t it time ladies you got yourself your very own Pippa Middleton but enhancer pants too? But then again I hazard to guess a lot of gents are still into fat bottom girls…and why not?!

scotsman

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3 COMMENTS

  1. What a**e? it was the cut of that dress which allowed a ‘shape’. Or perhaps her head is/was so far up her a**e – hence ‘any’ bulge. She is merely spoilt Slone Henreitta living off her sisters fame. Should she escape with a mere caution, watch the public’s reaction. Lock the little b***h up and teach her a lesson. One law for one and all that…..

  2. I think they are great! I bought mine from a company called Butt For You and I love them! Butt it is my secret …..lol

    shhhhhhhh

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