When daddy is making pizza, it’s always best if you don’t bang on the oven door or daddy might just get mad.
It’s time to enter the world of diabolic parenting. Which brings us to this week’s forerunner of preeminent douches, 21 year old Gregory Colver, who on a whim, dare, self hate fest, power issue, kill joy (I’m not sure which yet, but feel free to choose the adverb that comes closest) picked up his 17 month old son and put him feet first in the oven to let him know that knocking incessantly on the oven door will not just be tolerated. Indeed!
Probably just trying to scare the bejesus out of his son (good parenting as you can see comes in many amazing forms…), the son on the other hand was not overtly pleased (yes the audacity of some children!) and tried to wriggle free of his father’s grip. That’s when the son fell inside the hot coils inside the oven and experienced third degree burns. Which makes me wonder, if only baby just listened to daddy, he’d be smiling right about now, munching on the pizza daddy was trying to make before being rudely interrupted (yes, children these days…)- but instead, baby had to try and show daddy who was really boss and that’s when daddy had to put his foot down. Really Gregory Clover was only taking a stand. How could anyone fault him? Not you I suppose? Let the first sinner or however it goes be the first to cast the first stone thing.
To complicate matters, when daddy took his son to the doctors to treat baby (yes ‘accidents’ will happen doctor) the doctor somehow had a hard time reconciling daddy’s story to that of the severe injuries his son had weathered. Suspicious, the doctor reached out to authorities who then decided to drop by and try one of daddy’s amazing home made pizzas have a little chat with daddy. That’s when daddy, bless his soul finally came clean.
He was in his own words only just trying to teach his son the dangers of a hot oven. To be sure one can rest assured that that lesson was most viscerally learned, but perhaps not in the way most parents would take the time to teach their children. Such it seems are the many differing views of what makes for good parenting, and as you can see Gregory Clover certainly has a very definitive idea of how to go about that- who knows, maybe he was tossed in a wood fire by his own daddy after one day daring to push a twig of wood in the bonfire?
Unfortunately not everyone shares daddy’s view points on what makes for good parenting (hopefully not even daddy anymore) and authorities consequently convicted daddy with felony child endangerment and child cruelty, whereby daddy was effectively sentenced to a year in the slammer one hopes where he spent countless hours reconsidering whether better parenting options actually exist.
To make daddy stays on the straight and narrow, daddy is to undergo five years of supervised probation and will have to attend parenting classes and counselling, according to the presiding judge, Judge John Grandsaert.
Such it seems are the sad and horrible affairs of parenting that sometimes leave the most horrific effects on children. Let’s hope daddy has a carefully worded apology to baby when baby eventually grows up and notices all those terrible burn marks all over his body….