The overt preoccupations of trash media.
As you know the media does one heck of a job keeping our politicians in check and making sure they are accountable for everything they do – which these days includes whether you got yourself a breast implant over the weekend.
The only group of people who look at ladies’ boobs more than straight men are straight women. Experts say straight women spend up to 37% of their time evaluating the breasts of their friends, enemies, peers and total strangers, while the number triples (to 111%) for lesbians. What we mean is, women seem to keep very careful mental records about such things, taking into account a wide variety of factors such as pregnancy, wardrobe, diet, exercise regime, miraculous undergarments and, of course, the work of the cosmetic surgery professionals who keep America’s last alt-weekly newspapers as going business concerns.
So in other words it was just another female journalist checking out Sarah Palin’s breasts because the more she kept looking at them the more Sarah’s policies made sense to her. Sort of.
And, having just now checked our tipster’s hunch with another woman (also, coincidentally, named “Laura”), we can report with confidence that at least two people with experience in having breasts say that Sarah Palin sure looks like she was trotting out some new work at the horse races on Sunday.
So now that three female journalists agree Sarah went for a long walk to the barn doctor we can all feel comfortable that
a/ either Sarah is going to become a pole dancer in the near future.
b/ A more invigorated politician.
c/ A more invigorated public mess
d/ A more invigorated wife to play with dough husband.
e/ Demi Moore’s new best friend and future screen partner ducking bullets, bad guys and all those men watching her heave and sweat on the big screen.
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