Should you be snorting smarties too? Fake highs for the brave new world….
Personally, I’ve always liked red Smarties, which might explain why I’m about to smash a bundle of red Smarties to the pavement, carefully grind that shit and look for last Friday night’s straw and hoover the good stuff up.
Of course I probably wont get high but at least I will feel as if I got high and that will probably will work for me. If it can work for America’s middle schoolers why not a frazzled tabloid hack?
In fact so prevalent has the fake high trend become that one school in Scarborough, Maine, opted to sent out parents a document titled “Important Health Information for Parents Regarding the Candy, Smarties.”
Advises the doom document:
Allergic reaction – if the child is allergic to sugar snorting or smoking Smarties can lead to an immediate allergic reaction which untreated may lead to respiratory arrest and death.
Possible Maggots – Dr. Oren Friedman, a Mayo Clinic nose specialist, has cautioned that frequent snorting could even rarely lead to maggots feeding on the sugary dust wedged inside the nose
Precursor to future cigarette smoking and drug use – although there is no addictive piece to Smarties, the concern is this behavior will lead to cigarette smoking or snorting of drugs.
Possible maggots? Isn’t that almost just as yummy as the highly probable nasty gunk if you cook this into your soul?
Because an amateur fake high is nearly as good as a real high unless you’re too stupid curious to think it might get you high…
For those of you intrigued on the new process of getting sugar whacked go see these YouTube videos. Or maybe just not.
above image found here.
