Getting over your crush often says more about one’s own relationship with themselves and the world than their desired object of affection.
The butterflies in your stomach, the soul-echoing feeling that you get when you see them, this is it, you have a crush. And it’s all fun and games and flirtatious encounter until the object of your passion is getting into a serious relationship. And it’s not you the lucky one. Having a crush on someone is like it sounds: crushing.
In other cases, the crush may be generating more bad feelings and emotions than positive ones. In both these cases, you know that is only a solution for you: getting over your crush. Below are some useful tips that will help you get over more efficiently over a crush.
Talk about it – it will be easier
Try talking with someone close that you trust about this matter. Get out all those feelings, put them on the table and discuss them. Talk about what you like about this person, why you’re hurting, etc. get everything out because this will help you understand better why you feel the way you do and what generates these feelings. Also, it will let others know that you’re vulnerable right now and you may need their support more than ever. Being in this with a friend will definitely help you more than simmering on your own feelings. The important thing in this whole process is committing to letting it go after you vent.
Don’t obsess over them
Of course, you want to talk about your crush with someone that you trust, but you don’t want to do it constantly. This is what psychologists call ‘over-talking’. This means that you are sharing the same piece of information, negative feeling or aspect in your life. This will be damaging to your mental health but also the relationships that you have. Try to distract yourself with other discussion topics or activities that you enjoy. Go and experience new things with someone that you can relate to but avoid the topic of your crush.
Avoid checking their social media accounts
We know it’s tempting to constantly check their social media accounts and see what things are going in their lives, but in the long run, this will be damaging to your mental health. It will most likely fuel your obsession, which is far from being ideal. Avoid checking their Facebook, Instagram, Twitter accounts of using other people search tools. In fact, you should unfollow them on all those platforms.
Knowing what they’re up to daily might make you jealous and nurture other negative feelings towards them. And the good part is that this is completely avoidable. Also, if you have a habit of downloading their photos on your device, delete those. You don’t have to be constantly reminded of their existence. Giving up this habit will actually make you feel a lot better.
Learn what you’re worth and how to love yourself
Maybe your friends have a habit of reminding you that it’s your crush’s loss that you two are not together. Well, you should follow their advice and start discovering your real worth. When you feel like obsessing over then again, make sure that you try to get involved in some activities that allow you to discover yourself. Learn to love yourself for a better future relationship.
Try to realize that this is temporary
This may feel like the end of the world to you, but truthfully speaking, it isn’t. No matter how much you’re hurting, there is someone who truly cares about you and who would rather see you happy. And try to remember the negative feelings that you currently experience won’t last forever. Feelings to pass and this will also happen in your case.
Avoid being needy
In some cases, we see people who simply can’t accept rejection. And they constantly try to get in touch with their crush, whatever it takes. This will make you look needy and the other party might profit from it. Avoid texting them, avoid tagging them in your posts, avoid talking to them. They might have made their point previously and coming out as needy won’t do any good in this situation. Instead of acting needy, get out and explore new things, experience new things, enjoy what you like and get out with some of your best friends.
Avoid unnecessary interactions
Constantly running into your crush certainly is something that you want to avoid, as this will make the issue only worse. While you can’t avoid interactions and meetings in some cases, it can be helpful to limit those as much as possible. For instance, if you attend the same classes as your crush, change those. If you get assigned to a group project with them, ask to change the group and so on. This will help you in the long run more than you think. Subtly distance yourself, this is the best advice that you can receive.
Distract yourself with other people and activities
We mentioned this previously, but you should make a habit out of this. While there is no magic cure to getting over your crush, there are some strategies that will definitely help. Try to distract yourself as much as possible by surrounding yourself with new people and pleasurable activities. Learn how to enjoy the time that you have, how to properly interact with other and learn which are those activities that will bring you joy. Get into new hobbies, pick up some new skills. All these are significantly better than mourning over your crush.
Set firm physical boundaries
You may be familiar with your crush and you may interact once in a while, but try to limit as much as you can physical interactions. Set firm physical boundaries and stick to those with religiosity. Avoid being flirty or anything like this, because it won’t advantage you.
These are some rules that you have to follow strictly if you want to get over your crush. Don’t follow them on social media, avoid interacting with them, and most importantly, remember that all those feelings are temporary. Avoid obsessing over them and you should be just fine.