Newark, New Jersey, a city struggling to make ends meet, is giving new meaning to the term, “Dirty Jerz.” Newark’s mayor, Cory Booker, is taking cutting costs to the extreme— and damned-be the greedy bastards that ask for more than, literally, a pot to piss in.
NY Daily News: We’re going to stop buying everything from toilet paper to printer paper,” the newspaper reported Booker saying on Wednesday. “Call me Mr. Scrooge, if you want, but they’ll be no Christmas decorations around the city.”
Mr. Scrooge, I’m pretty sure your residents aren’t going to care if Frosty the Snowman isn’t waving to them as they drive through town Christmas Eve, but they may care, however, if they have to provide their own toilet paper with them every day. What’s next? Flushing toilets will be banned to conserve the city’s water bills?
What is most worrisome is what happens when some unassuming bathroom goer forgets their personal roll? Aside from the fact that they might have to drip-dry, the rules of bathroom etiquette have changed. You can’t just expect to stick your hand under the stall next to you for a hand out. Any body part gliding into the stall of your neighbor may be considered a lewd and lascivious act.
Just ask Senator Larry Craig.