Home Scandal and Gossip Death to the Mullet: Iran bans the Mullet

Death to the Mullet: Iran bans the Mullet


So you know how you’re always perennially praying that some official legal entity will make the mullet illegal? Well, Iran recently sent shock waves to its country’s thriving country western fan base when the Culture Ministry officially banned certain men’s hairstyles, including the mullet.

Along with ponytails, elaborate spikes, and long hair, Iran has issued a list of approved Muslim hairstyles in effort to ban the country of “decadent Western cuts.”

Decadent? The Mullet?! Has the Culture Ministry ever seen a teabagger convention on youtube or googled “Branson, Missouri“? These places aren’t exactly overflowing with ritzy glamour and panache.

Oddly enough, hair gel is deemed acceptable; however, it must be used sparingly. So it appears as though the cast of Jersey Shore wont be getting any invites to appear in Tehran anytime soon.

Hilariously enough, Iran is actually putting out  a guide to which styles are now acceptable for male citizens. Evidently the catalog will be unveiled at Modesty and Veil Festival, something I painfully wish I created for the sake of comedy. This news really puts a damper in my hopes of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sporting the One Flock of Seagulls look. One can only pray that they don’t ban Parachute Pants too.

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  • sufi

    Its same as europe banning Muslim women’s right to veil. both regimes are insane.

  • Lynn

    Great Piece! I always saw Ahmadinnerjacket sporting a jewfro.

  • Vnic

    you inspire incredible humor and wit when discussing horrific topics—thank god for you Hayne, otherwise, I’d be infuriated. I’m still infuriated by the state of forcible subjugation but at least you make it palatable enough to read.

  • Paul

    WTF?! That’s hysterical!