Ever since the dawn of time, young people have always wanted to belong to a tribe. That said the latest tribe that more and more young people are aspiring to belong to is the one that negotiates itself in a little hamlet called Williamsburg. It’s called ‘hipster- dom,’ and as much as everyone dresses nearly the same, and has a tendency to say the same ironic things, not everyone belongs. Uncovering the faux hipsters.
10/ A real hipster will always come from money and despite the myth it’s ok to have a job to support yourself we don’t buy it and neither does a real hipster. So if you happen to have a job, consider yourself a fake.
9/ A real hipster will never initiate friendship with another potential hipster until they have at least come across each other at the same book store 15 times in a row, and even then they are still suspect. Preferred book titles include- anything by Charles Bukowksi and Gore Vidal’s Inventing a Nation: Washington, Adams, Jefferson.
8/ Fake hipsters spent their entire days cruising the main drag Bedford Ave between Metropolitan and North 11th. Real hipsters spend their days sleeping instead.
7/ Fake hipsters only sniff coke, real hipsters free base it.
6/ Fake hipsters wear vintage clothes. Real hipsters wear expensive designer clothes that look like they were bought at a vintage store.
5/ Fake hipsters are aspiring models or actors. Real hipsters are aspiring film directors in the tradition of Bunel.
4/ Fake hipsters hang out at Rose bar, real hipsters hang out with the discarded members of society as seen in heroin and crack dens.
3/ Fake hipsters have ironic facial hair, real hipsters have mohawks.
2/ Fake hipsters believe in the lies that they perpetuate, real hipsters don’t believe in anything.
1/ Fake hipsters eventually all want to eventually go and move to Paris or Berlin and live a supposed charmed artistic lifestyle where as real hipsters end up becoming bankers and gold diggers once they are over their phase.
Peter, if it makes any difference I enjoy subjecting you to the horrible writing. It makes men out of us…
as usual, horrible writing. i love subjecting myself to it so i can enjoy the good stuff even more.
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