When falling into elevator shafts is never a good career move.
According to pain-in-the-ass Gawker, Gerhardt Fuchs, a 34 year-old drummer that played in bands including !!! and Maserati, fell to a gruesome death over the weekend when he apparently plummeted seven stories to the bottom of an elevator shaft.
The irony here (and yes we lament the loss of Gerhardt and offer our collective condolences) is how the sport of hanging out of elevator doorways has perversely become a preferred sport of the hipster jet set. Other dangerous sports that we have noticed (just this weekend in fact) that may also lead to danger and death include the following.
1/ Drinking profusely at all hours of the day: night and daytime merge into one on Bedford ave.
2/ The abundance of a renegade spirit that leads to swinging out of moving cars might be a new way of showing off.
3/ Going out with your groupie fans. Don’t do it kids- they’ll love you to death.
4/ Drinking espressos, one after the other, while sitting with both legs crossed.
5/ Not bothering to look past one‘s inner pain when walking in the street. Watch out kids, you will all get run over if you don’t look right, left and then right. Practice at home with care.
6/ Chain smoking. It causes cancer. Please, kids, quit. Now.
7/ Dressing fashionably alike is a social death, we did after all notice Gerhardt wearing a red hoodie. Oh dear.
8/ Living in vacant squat building waiting to get axed by some derelict crack head in search of the shit that keeps him alive (and no your Pabst beer will not deter him).
9/ Talking back to bus drivers flying past at 80 mph is never a good idea, so watch out, and just keep riding those hipster bikes slow and easy.
10/ Trying to be an artist will one way or another will kill you. We all know society doesn’t care about art unless it’s worth lots of money, so who cares if you die hungry and broke.
When you’re an artist you live and die by the sword. You, Gerhardt, had an impressive career – let’s hope your unfortunate death inspires us to get to where we all need to get to. Peace.