Well, here you are finally unemployed, supposedly feeling down on yourself and bored and broke. Never mind here are Scallywag’s top ten suggestions.
One– Now that you finally have more free time, you can start having that affair you never got round to having ‘cause you were too busy’…well not anymore.
Two– Learn how to bake short bread cookies and other tasty morsels at 3pm in the afternoon in front of your favorite TV cooking show.
Three– Get round to writing that novel. Starving artist always sounded better than starving executive.
Four– Start turning up to the parent teacher nights and notice all those lonely teachers you never had the time to notice before.
Five– Start hanging out at cocktail parties in the evening and pretend you’re a celebrity trying to break in.
Six– Leave the house in the morning, tell your spouse you’ll be out all day looking for a job and you just don’t know what time you’ll be back. Of course where’ll you be all day is watching all those afternoon matinees you’ve been dying to see for years.
Seven– Hang out with unemployed actors at their acting schools and really get to the heart of the feeling…
Eight– Spend all day at some café you have never been at in your entire life acting like you were an artist and if anyone approaches you tell them you’re researching for the next big film you’re making.
Nine– Fabricate a resume and pretend you’re a doctor or something and go in for an interview and raise all sorts of hell. The reaction should be very interesting.
Ten– Drive by your old place of employment and thank your lucky stars they had the nerve to do to you what you never had the nerve to do yourself.