Home Pop Culture Who me, Haven’t we met? Catching Anthony Haden Guest Being Coy Amongst...

Who me, Haven’t we met? Catching Anthony Haden Guest Being Coy Amongst Others.

Anthony Haden Guest and Lauren Goldstein.Photography Sameeh Alderazi

We like Lauren very much, we consider her sassy, misbehaved and a culprit in anything and everything mischievous. Then again that’s why we love her so much, but then again …maybe that’s why Anthony Haden Guest loves her too. Have a read and see what happens when you put two literary gems together…or rather what doesn’t happen. – Scallywag.

Last night at the National Arts council Fashion for Food Benefit.

AHG: Have we met?

SCV: No. Hi I’m Lauren.

AHG: I’m sure we’ve met.

SCV: I’m sure we haven’t.

AHG: I’m most sure we had a child together.

SCV: I could be your child!

AHG: My what a lovely thought.

As we smiled for the camera I puckered my mouth in a kiss so as to shift the cheekbones north and inflate the lips. Alas, if we hadn’t had a child we might have if I allowed him to continue: he whipped his head around, smashed his lips onto mine and went in for the kill. It nearly happened, for Anthony anyway, but if I was a single girl who would have known what would happened. Not Anthony surely, oh well, a scallywag will always be a scallywag…

Scallywag XX (Lauren) to Scallywag XY (CHRISTOPHER our Editor in Chief) at the National Arts Council last night.:

SCV XX: But I was sure you were bisexual!

SCV XY: Everyone says that, perhaps it’ because I’m a bit of a dandy.

SCV XX: Dandy indeed! When was your first time?

SCV XY: On the beach with a leggy blond. I was 18. She said are you fxxxxxx me?
I said yes, is that alright? And she said Of course! It’s wonderful!

And with that the male Scallywag walked off to mark his terroritory/terrorize another patron.

SCV XX (Lauren) to SCV OO (Sameeh– our Art Director)

SCV XX: You’re bi right?

Sameeh: I’m A-sexual.

SCV XY: Really? When’s the last time you had sex?

Sameeh: 7 years

SCV XX: You must itch?

Sameeh: No, not really, you?

SCV XX: Me? I’m married! Married women don’t have sex!

I love working for these guys…

Sameeh and Lauren.