Home Pop Culture Who me, Haven’t we met? Catching Anthony Haden Guest Being Coy Amongst...

Who me, Haven’t we met? Catching Anthony Haden Guest Being Coy Amongst Others.

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Anthony Haden Guest and Lauren Goldstein.Photography Sameeh Alderazi

We like Lauren very much, we consider her sassy, misbehaved and a culprit in anything and everything mischievous. Then again that’s why we love her so much, but then again …maybe that’s why Anthony Haden Guest loves her too. Have a read and see what happens when you put two literary gems together…or rather what doesn’t happen. – Scallywag.

Last night at the National Arts council Fashion for Food Benefit.

AHG: Have we met?

SCV: No. Hi I’m Lauren.

AHG: I’m sure we’ve met.

SCV: I’m sure we haven’t.

AHG: I’m most sure we had a child together.

SCV: I could be your child!

AHG: My what a lovely thought.

As we smiled for the camera I puckered my mouth in a kiss so as to shift the cheekbones north and inflate the lips. Alas, if we hadn’t had a child we might have if I allowed him to continue: he whipped his head around, smashed his lips onto mine and went in for the kill. It nearly happened, for Anthony anyway, but if I was a single girl who would have known what would happened. Not Anthony surely, oh well, a scallywag will always be a scallywag…

Scallywag XX (Lauren) to Scallywag XY (CHRISTOPHER our Editor in Chief) at the National Arts Council last night.:

SCV XX: But I was sure you were bisexual!

SCV XY: Everyone says that, perhaps it’ because I’m a bit of a dandy.

SCV XX: Dandy indeed! When was your first time?

SCV XY: On the beach with a leggy blond. I was 18. She said are you fxxxxxx me?
I said yes, is that alright? And she said Of course! It’s wonderful!

And with that the male Scallywag walked off to mark his terroritory/terrorize another patron.

SCV XX (Lauren) to SCV OO (Sameeh– our Art Director)

SCV XX: You’re bi right?

Sameeh: I’m A-sexual.

SCV XY: Really? When’s the last time you had sex?

Sameeh: 7 years

SCV XX: You must itch?

Sameeh: No, not really, you?

SCV XX: Me? I’m married! Married women don’t have sex!

I love working for these guys…

Sameeh and Lauren.
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