“Damned if you Do Damned if you Don’t” – Ladies let me explain why you are damned if you sleep with a guy and damned if you don’t. After all, no one can do anything at all on their own, and if you plan on doing anything other than taking an hourly salary, you need friends… and if you plan on working your way up at a minimum wage job, you need friends there too. Unless of course you are one of the blessed young ladies whose families have a lot of money, your family won’t expect to have sex with you (unless you are Lindsey Lohan) although they might f*ck you out of the benefits of coming from that lucky family.
Damned if you do, well let’s start with damned if you don’t because that is a little less heart breaking because you haven’t been intimate with the guy so it isn’t so personal… Furthermore, it’s much more likely scenario since you probably don’t sleep with all men:
Damned if you don’t: Ladies, when our mother’s mothers told us we didn’t know what we were giving up in the 70s when birth control enabled free sex, you really had no idea. Men and women did converse and make friends. However, if the man or woman wanted to further the relationship and make it a sexual relationship; he was either a pervert who would be out casted in society or proposing her hand in marriage or she was literally a prostitute. (There are the forbidden, passionate love stories, but it actually happening wasn’t common, especially with multiple partners.) Now, when men and women make “friends,” if the guy “isn’t getting laid,” his friends are telling him he is being used and he feels like the “nice guy” that is a chump.
Damned if you do: Now, if you do have sex with the guy, he doesn’t want to mix pleasure with his business. He will not pick up the phone and connect you with one of his male friends who he sees might potentially be able to further any opportunity or idea you might have the way he would for another male friend. The guy on the other line of the phone will eventually ask him if he is sleeping with you, and then he is damned if he says yes and damned if he says no. If he says yes, he’s just promoting you for the sex and his ego suffers as the girl isn’t just independently with him for the sex, and if he says no, he’s a chump for being a nice guy to a girl… so why would he get involved at all in extending relationships and helping you negotiate equity with the other apes?
So you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t until you find the one who wants to marry you. Men are the decision makers; Goldman Sachs leads the way for women, yet they only have 5% female partners…. There has been 39 female senators out of the 2230 out of the entire American History.
Times have changed, and now men need to be the ultimate decision makers when deciding who they have sex with where traditionally women were the gate keepers. Men as gate keepers have a responsibility to step back, and consider if the women he is sitting with is someone who he sees a woman he’d spend time with to the like of a wife or if it is a woman who has his attention for the moment because she’s got something of interest to tell him.
If it is the latter of the two, don’t obsess that you are a nice guy getting used if the girl isn’t sleeping with you, and don’t set it as an expectation for the woman to be able to build a friendship with. Men are the decision makers and we need to be friends with you to get things done? Why dismember the friendship and stomp any opportunity that is probably the real reason you’ve decided to sit down with the woman to begin with since at the end of the day she really isn’t the one?
Perhaps this is why Middle America is starving but obese, as the food put on the table is of the men’s choice as opposed to the women where traditionally they were to know better than the men. There instincts were to prepare the food for the young, and the men are to kill and bring home the bacon.
The free sex has to stop so women can once again engage in friendships with men to share concepts and ideas to bring them together for the better of society.