Why did she do it? That is the question most commentators are asking as they try to reflect on why America’s golden girl, Suzy Favor Hamilton seemingly risked everything to pursue work as an escort.
Until recent revelations that Hamilton had clandestinely taken up work as an escort the former three times Olympian runner had an enviable squeaky clean image. And that too may be part of the impulse of what drove the high achieving Olympian to cross what many perceive to be the dark side.
Yet that too forces the question why does society necessarily perceive work as an escort, porn performer, or some other unsavory professions you can think of (drug dealer, assassin, army professional, etc) in such a negative light? Such work in and of itself can cause great highs and stimulation and sometimes beyond the money that is often is what inspires us. It may explain for instance why we date the wrong person, to give an example, not because we are not aware that that person may be wrong for us (we often know this) but because of the stimulation, exultation of dealing with the taboo and the thing we are told we can not have.
Upon coming clean as to why she took on escort work, Hamilton went on to apologize (but did she really have to in the first place, really it’s her life) and reflect that she had been going through darkness in her own life.
Which poses another question, sometimes light and perceiving and being also comes from entering the dark matter, sensibilities or actions that are not on the surface necessarily very healthy for us. What is the expression, light always comes before darkness? And perhaps in some way that’s what Hamilton was seeking, a sense of lightness.
Another thing to consider is how the former Olympian who went on to achieve great noble things probably came to realize and wonder, if she was capable of achieving such wonderful feats why not also be capable of experiencing feats of the other end of her personal spectrum? The things that we call our wild side, the demons? If there was no longer a rush in her personal life having now quit the Olympics perhaps taking on work as an escort could perversely inspire the athlete to find the high and stimulation that was absent in her more stagnant life.
Of course there are those of us who would argue why she didn’t try to seek more affirmative ways of finding her balance, her high, her center of gravity, but that too is a mistake. One ought to be prepared to understand that exultation and feeling of worth sometimes can come from doing and pursuing work that so many of us have a hard time contemplating or perceiving. It might explain on the other hand why there are so many individuals who readily and happily pursue work as porn actresses and escorts. Let’s not judge Suzy Favor Hamilton for pursuing work and a kind of existence that so many of us would have a hard time pursuing for ourselves. It doesn’t necessarily mean what Ms Hamilton did was necessarily bad for her and if anything probably bought the high, stability and emotional balance that she was unable to find in other areas of her life.