Home Scandal and Gossip Sarah Tressler is your preferred society reporter by day and stripper by...

Sarah Tressler is your preferred society reporter by day and stripper by night!

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Sarah Tressler knows better than you what news you really want to read bixches....
Sarah Tressler knows better than you what news you really want to read bixches....

Video: Oh No! Them bixches fired my hero Sarah Tressler for being a two time bit stripper!

Can I get a lap dance with that society scoop please?

Kids I have to say I am outright shocked that someone who reports on the champagne and tuna tatare set has more scandal to report than those she seeks to out focus on. Then again this is new media and I’ll get my breaking scoops any which way I can get it. Yes Sarah, a tittie slash across the face will certainly put me in a good mood if you don’t mind….

Reflects her outraged employer the Houston Chronicle:

houstonpress: It sounds like a bad rom-com book and movie, which no doubt its author hopes it will be — society reporter for a big-city newspaper by day, stripper by night.

That’s apparently the life being led by Sarah Tressler, who began writing society stuff for the Houston Chronicle after Douglas Britt left the paper to begin his own very odd double life.

Tressler blogs, Facebooks and tweets about her life as an “angry stripper.” It’s all pretty much what you’d expect — writing in the style that really, really wants to be described as “fearless” and “intelligent” and “funny” and “sexy.”

Bad room movie soon to be released best seller? Dare we wonder? Dare I we hope? Whatever happened to the reporter being a subservient observer of the monied and gentry set? After all who wants to read about the back door exploits smiley days of society people when they can get their hands on what happens when a young woman slashes her ass like a vixen on the prowl? Shit, let me see if I have a spare  $100 $20 in my pocket…

And her employer’s dribble continues:

The Web writings describe her life dancing at local clubs like St. James and The Men’s Club.

Her most recent entry, on March 12, talks about how a man who was tipping her as she was dancing accidentally spit some lettuce on her. (Comic relief for the movie!!)

We e-mailed Tressler, 29, but haven’t heard back. Her LinkedIn profile says she has a bachelor’s from University of Houston — where she’s now an adjunct professor, it says — and a master’s in journalism from NYU. 

Adjunct professor? Masters in shenanigans? Should we really judge a journalist/blogger for having the nerve to hustle her pretty posterior (I have yet to have seen it up close, but I am hopeful Ms Tressler can evoke wonder) whilst wearing the badge of adjunct hawt bixch of academia and hawt society? Personally I’ll take my insights on the hoi polli set anyway which way I can get. Which is to say if I could fit into a battered pair of fishnets and remove the fissures of a slight pot belly paunch I’d be remiss not to try it all myself. Then again kinky and zany always makes for better tabloid fodder…right?

And then there’s this: Her fellow Chronicle employees have found out and they’re furious. Furious because she barely bothers to conceal her identity and they’re worried about the reaction from the “ladies who lunch” when they inevitably find out that they’ve been hosting an active stripper at their benefits. And furious because she “flaunts” her “stripper money” around the office in the form of expensive designer clothes and handbags. And furious because the Chron staff feels like she’s just using them as fodder for a future roman a clef.

Furious? Oh the audacity Ms Tressler. How dare they?! Really who cares about what the ladies who lunch will have to say on the matter? Send them my way Ms Tressler and I will put on a pair of battered red knickers and show them what journalism is all about.

Reflects our collective hawt bixch from one of her blog posts “The 10-Hour Day Yields an Icky Fetish”:

I worked from 1:30 to 11:30 last Thursday, which is long enough to hang out with some friends, make some new contacts, eat lunch and pull down about $750. I also had a run-in with one of my least favorite of the weird fetishes: guys who like to have their nipples, um … bothered.

Indeed. I’ll stick to my hackneyed tabloid reporting and you Ms Tressler will stick to sticking it in the eye of all those media and lunching lady types who just can’t appreciate that beyond you being a slut (so the reports say) us media hackeys at the end of the day are bigger sluts then you will ever wish you could be. Which reminds me Ms Tressler, where does one sign up to take one of your lap dances school lessons?

Sarah Tressler reckons Jeremy Piven gives lousy head. Oh well

Sarah Tressler and Nick Rizzo
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3 COMMENTS

  1. Great point.

    I’m not sure that reporters ought t be allowed to dance at all – professionally, privately, just for fun, etc.

    I just don’t trust people who dance.

  2. this is sick how do u report on the news and take your clothes odd at night i think she should not report the news ever again

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