A recent research study courtesy of Sarah Murray and Robin Milhausen, of the University of Guelph, Ontario argues that the greater the length of a relationship between a male and a female the greater the chances that the female will lose interest in sex. No news there I suppose. But where the research differs from most common wisdom as to the inevitable decline in passion of most new relationships is that in actuality, mens desire for sex stays consistently high throughout the relationship, whilst hers steadily drops.
In coming to their observation, Murray and Milhausen took 170 undergraduates who’d been in relationships as short as one month and as long as nine years, whereby subjects were asked to report on their levels of ‘relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction and sexual desire, with the latter being measured on a scale from 1.2 to 6 under the female sexual function index.
What researchers found were the following:
The participants were generally satisfied with their sex lives—and their relationships too. But women had lower levels of desire depending on how long they’d been in the relationship.
Specifically, for each additional month women in this study were in a relationship with their partner, their sexual desire decreased by 0.02 on the Female Sexual Function Index.
Which if you do the math can amount to quite a bit as time rolls by. Of course where the study makes sense is if one buys into the idea that most males are preternaturally determined no matter how old they are to spread their seeds where as women are more concerned as evolutionary theory would have it, with nurturing the offspring.
What though does make the study somewhat difficult to digest is that because it was done with college students as opposed to couples who have been with each other extended periods of times and actually have families and mortgages and other responsibilities that mature relationships often find themselves grappling with one can not necessarily be swayed that researchers have necessarily decoded the sexual dynamics of most relationships.
Offers one reader from where the study was made publicly available:
Female sex drives are very, very dependent on the environment. Any number of things can shake it up, particularly stress or lack of sleep. Thanksfully they mention that in this article, but personally I feel that this study is going to be hard to get good results on because there are so many factors that can decrease desire. Socioeconomic status, children, work, a happy and trusting relationship, money….
But then again there was this response that admittedly led this author to chuckle to himself:
Yeah, generally men need to understand that in a mature relationship, a women needs a whole day or even days of ‘foreplay’ – as in: helping her clean, being cordial and chivalrous, cooking dinner, giving her chocolate etc etc and so forth. hahaha
And then there was this astute observation from one of the researchers themselves:
“When an individual has had sex with their partner over the course of many, many years, it takes creativity and openness to keep things fresh and exciting,” Murray said. “Making time to be together and keep one’s sex life as an important part of one’s relationship is very important, and putting in effort and keeping things fun and interesting are crucial components.”
Ultimately one presupposes the sexual dynamics in any one relationship is contingent on the dynamics inherent between that couple, the state of mind of each individual and as time rolls by things such as social status, work commitments, the desire and commitment between a couple to keep things saucy and the kinky things you say to each other from time to time that still drive each other wild….