Home Scandal and Gossip Investigators baffled by exploding watermelon and naked man walking along street.

Investigators baffled by exploding watermelon and naked man walking along street.

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You may be tempted to read these two incidents as related, but remember, correlation does not imply causation.

New Castle, Delaware’s Star Press reports that authorities are in hot pursuit as of a yet disclosed perpetrator who forced a watermelon to explode outside a pet store one recent afternoon, which led to a car being damaged as well as injuring a woman, no less, right around the time a nude man was spotted walking down the road.  But odder things have happened or have they…?

“A man told authorities a “male subject blew up a watermelon with some sort of firework,” according to a police report, with pieces of the melon causing a dent on his Dodge Neon’s hood and striking his wife’s face.”

Don’t go trusting this eye-witness, though, because the plot thickens:

Another witness, however, reported both the man and his wife were inside the pet shop when they all heard a “loud boom” outside. An investigating officer said the dent on the badly rusted vehicle appeared to have “been there for quite a while.”

Well, well, well: sounds like another opportunist looking for his next settlement check.  It seems that a 32-year-old prankster confessed to putting a firecracker in the melon as a joke, but denied any damages he caused.

Oh, and the naked man.  Before any of this even happened, police picked up a 28-year-old man who at the time of the exploding watermelon episode was wandering around naked “believed to have been ingesting bath salts.”

Just another loon, I suppose.

Case closed?  I think not, considering the twists and turns in this story.  Truth be told, investigators would be wise to investigate my favorite comedian Gallagher, famous for his gag of smashing watermelons and on my watch, due for a comeback.  The bath salts, firecrackers, rusty dents—all red herrings.  Real perp’s still on the loose.

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