A pressing question for today’s politicians à la page: what do you need the corporate bribe money for? Simple: to buy hookers and blow!
Lesson number one: the Bunga Bunga parties.
Let’s make an experiment. Imagine for a moment that, while on a presidential trip to Paris one year ago, President John McCain – I know it’s painful, but suppose the seventy-five year old maverick turned crackpot won the race – imagine McCain calls the NYPD precinct in Lower Manhattan, asking for the release of a seventeen year old Moroccan girl. She had been detained a few hours before on account of theft and she’s got no ID. She allegedly stole three grand from her roommate, a brazilian hooker, who called the cops on her. The President calls and tells the head of the police precinct the girl is no less than the nephew of the Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak. Diplomacy shall prevail. She must be released.
The President keeps calling from his bodyguard’s cellphone to make sure they got rid of the girl. He tells the officer that a State senator is coming over to pick her up. The senator, as a matter of fact, turns out to be a twenty-five year old sexy gal, a former dental assistant to the President.
The girl is underage: the officer calls the judge, who says she must be put in protective custody. But the President keeps calling and evoking a diplomatic crisis. So the officer decides to appease the President: he releases the kid, even if that goes against the rules…
Funny story: a few months later, the DA presses charges against the President for abetting underage prostitution and abusing his authority. The underage Moroccan girl, known in the high-end escort scene as Ruby Stealhearts, spent weeks at one of the (seven) Presidential mansions, to alleviate his elderly pains with some sweet anal sex and – why not – partaking in the wild orgy parties the President loves so much. “I work so hard,” he justifies himself with the press, after the scandal breaks the news, “when I get home I deserve some relax.” The orgies quickly came to be known worldwide as the Bunga Bunga parties.
A very good friend of the President, the now disgraced colonel Muhammar Qadafi, was the one to teach him about the old Bunga Bunga Lybian tradition: when an enemy is captured, the whole tribe gang-rapes him and then burns him alive. The President adopted the relaxing tradition but turned it into a more prosaic orgy starring several young women, preferably underage, and himself as the only male character.
A totally unreal fabrication, one would say. But just replace New York → Milan, and McCain → Silvio Berlusconi (they both are class 1936), and welcome to Italy!
The Italian premier, Silvio Berlusconi, is currently appearing in court every week. Among the many trials for corruption of judges, fiscal fraud and ties to the Mafia, the most hilarious trial is the Rubygate. Until a month ago, he used to have a little rally at every court appearance, right in front of Milan’s tribunal. He’d repeat his mantra to a scarce audience of supporters: “Judges are the cancer of our country!”
After being annihilated in the recent elections for mayor of Milan (an ex-commie won the race), you would think that the