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Will you get laid this New Year’s eve?


It’s time to start making bets if your sorry ass is going to see the good humor of sunshine splay itself between your collective crotches. Love as anyone older than 14 knows is here today, and gone tomorrow and if you’re lucky back again for a midnight cartwheel. Lust on the other hand as most of you bitches can tell us is always here, rain or shine, Iced machiatto or sunny side up- and that kids is the deliberation of this article.

With most of you set to wander the streets and open your tongues and the crooked zippers in front of your pants and the back of your dress- anything can and will happen and if you are lucky it will- except we’re going to take the time to teach you bitches about luck, so that way you’ll have at least one war story before this new year is finally out too.

The bathroom stall: This is where you are bound to find all your favorite cokeheads going for a whirl. The trick is to huddle as many as you can into a mini football scrum behind the bathroom door. Never mind if them bitches keep knocking on that door cause truth knows they’re a bigger whore.

Look for the leader of the pack, he’s the one with all the stack and watch him pounce it on the toilet stall. Inhale deeply and please make sure it’s at least a $50 note that will send you flying and in the direction of that dizzy french kiss. The more of you in that bathroom stall all the better, just make sure you smile a lot, bat your silly eye lids and you gentlemen keep that silly white stuff pounding on the dock.

What about if you're not a coke head, will you still get lucky?- let's turn the page and find out...