Home Scandal and Gossip Man arrested for masturbating next to teenage girl on plane.

Man arrested for masturbating next to teenage girl on plane.

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Rafael Escamilla wants to let you know the tobasco sauce made him do it.

Like most of you we know traveling this time of the year can be quite hectic and annoying. Which we guess is a good as an introduction we can find for the following story.

thesmokinggun.com: Arrested this week for allegedly masturbating while seated next to a teenage girl on an airplane flight, the 50-year-old suspect told police that he was actually massaging and itching himself because he had spilled Tabasco sauce on his penis.

Which kind of makes sense because who hasn’t dropped a smidgen of tobasco sauce on their private parts and if we know anything about tobasco sauce the pesky thing is as ‘hot’ as it gets so of course it only makes sense to use short quick upward hand movements to cool one’s pecker down.

And what about the teenage girl sitting next to our man, did she reach over and lend a helping hand? After all that would be the neighborly thing to do.

The girl, a high school cheerleader who just turned 17, told cops that she was seated directly next to Escamilla, and had chatted briefly with him at the trip’s outset. Mid-flight, as she looked at prom dresses in Seventeen magazine, the teenager spotted something moving “out of my corner of my eye.”

High school cheerleader? Mmh, you don’t say. We bet she looks great in her cheerleading outfit, and who knows maybe she looks great out of it too? Right Rafael?

In a handwritten statement, the girl recalled, “I looked over and I could clearly see the man’s penis going side to side under the tray table that was down.” Escamilla, she added, had one hand on his laptop (which was atop the tray table) and the other “under the tray table.”

Well of course he did. Duh! How else are you suppose to tend to a spill of tobasco sauce on your penis? Geesh. Never mind how the tobasco sauce ended up on poor Rafael’s poor penis.

After waiting two to three minutes, the girl–who was traveling alone on the flight–got up to go to the bathroom. When she emerged, the teen sat next to a woman seated at the back of the plane, and told the woman that, “the guy that she was sitting with creeped her out.”

Mmh. So the cheerleader didn’t lend a hand? That’s not very neighborly. It is the ‘festive’ season after all. Poor Rafael, having to deal with such a horrible mess all by himself.

Upon arrival at Nez Perce County Regional Airport, the girl, upset and crying, told her father about what had transpired on the flight. The man contacted a Transportation Security Administration supervisor, who in turn summoned Lewiston Police Department officers.

Uh-oh. See what Rafael went and did. The cheerleader was so distraught by Rafael’s ‘burning’ penis she had to go tell her father. Mmh, wonder what the dad had to say about Rafael’s burning penis?

When confronted by cops, Escamilla denied exposing himself. “I wasn’t out, I wasn’t hanging out,” he claimed. As reported by Officer Chris Reese, Escamilla “explained to me that he had spilled Tabasco sauce or something similar on his ‘penis’ and had an incredible itch.” He was rubbing his groin, Escamilla explained, “because it was the worst ‘itch in the world.’” Escamilla said he tried to be discreet by covering himself with his laptop, but that the girl must have “suspected something.”

Suspected something? Mmh, I wonder what our nubile cheerleader suspected? After all you know teenagers, they have such fertile minds.

During further questioning, Escamilla changed his Tabasco story, claiming that it “might” be from his breakfast that morning “as he did have Tabasco sauce with his eggs.” Asked why he did not just go to the bathroom to “take care of this problem,” Escamilla told Reese that he “didn’t feel that it would help.”

Well now that makes more sense, because personally me and the chipmunks bundled under the covers we’re having a little bit of a hard time believing the first story. The second story now sounds more like it.

Reese noted that Escamilla used the words “rub” and “massage” to describe how he addressed the “incredible itch.” The cop reported that, “while I was speaking with [Escamilla], he never showed any obvious signs that he had an itch in this particular part of his body.”

Well – duh, that’s because the ‘itch’ was now gone. After all would you be ‘itching yourself’ in front of a fully clothed police officer? No- of course not.

Escamilla was then handcuffed and transported to the county jail, where the above mug shot was snapped. He was charged with a misdemeanor count of indecent exposure, and a District Court hearing was set for January 18.

Handcuffed and transported to the local county jail so officials could make sure there would be no follow through ‘itching outbreak,’ cause once that shit gets at you heaven knows when it ever stops. Even the chipmunks giggling in the background agree.

One day in the distant future when Rafael is ordering his scrambled eggs the waitress will ask if he’d like a large helping of tobasco sauce with that- we’re betting he’ll probably say no. Wouldn’t you?

  • Mark Jorge

    Really at 17 she was afraid of a mans penis and cried…Probably has a few guns at home that don’t bother her in the least.