One of the sweeter New Jersey area reality stars has just been arrested for his contributions to the art of creepin.’ Not The Situation, but Remy Gonzalez, co-star of ‘Cake Boss.’
TMZ: According to law enforcement sources Remy Gonzalez is currently being held in Morris County Jail in New Jersey … he’s been there since August 18 when cops arrested him.
Officials tell us Gonzalez — who is married to “Cake Boss” Buddy Valastro’s sister — is charged with aggravated sexual assault, sexual assault, criminal sexual contact, and endangering the welfare of a child. He’s being held on $300,000 bail.
This, perhaps, is the inevitable outcome of augmenting a tried-and-true recipe for New Jersey reality perfection. Who, in retrospect, couldn’t have predicted that substituting sugar and icing for vodka and protein would have some undesirable flatulence after tastes once the yeast has risen in our new found convection?
Though there are no specific on details on the charges at this time and Remy certainly deserves to be regarded as innocent until proven guilty (or at least until we get some sweet sweet details to batter him with before they use the chair to fry him), the public imagination is already running wild. After all, it’s not hard to imagine that while Ronny and the Situation are out luring the ditzy fame whores back to their lairs with muscles and booze Remy is doing the same, but with a different demographic: one still attracted to sugar and sweets instead of fake tans and hairless pseudo-six packs.
Beware of of strangers with cake, not just candy, especially if they’re from New Jersey.