Home Pop Culture A straight man’s guide to getting laid.

A straight man’s guide to getting laid.

'Will tonight be your lucky night?'

Whether it is openly discussed in polite society or not it generally understood every action, gesture, inference or thought that every straight man takes is essentially in the hopes of getting laid by the most attractive member of the opposite sex as often as possible as he can. To pretend otherwise is to scoff at what it ultimately means to be male. Of course there will be times a man’s actions will be done in concert to appeal to other men and to re affirm his social standing amongst them (so they may leave him alone when he decides to one day pursue their wives, girlfriends or sister). True there are times a man’s actions will be in concert in his desire to re affirm his mother’s love (mommy’s boy) but ultimately if the passage of time, media and the current cultural landscape are any guide, everything a man does is ultimately done to seduce you the woman.

Like most things in life a man needs to appreciate what type of man he is so he may then discover where he can effectively begin the daunting task of where to lay his net in the first place. A man who has no money, looks,  fame or any clout can not hope in a million years to score himself a Victoria’s secret model or any of the other fine vixen he often comes across in Sports Illustrated covers and the like. It is generally understood for one reason or another these women have decided to hold out for a well to do financier, publisher, hotel owner, trust fund scion, brash playboy and occasionally if offered enough frozen margaritas the summer pool boy himself. Which is a back hand way of saying a gentleman (and I will use this word with some degree of dexterity, for I know already most of you are  brutes in need of sexual stimulation and satisfaction) the secret of your success lies in you implicitly understanding which of the five categories below you belong to and hence where your possible success exist.

Man category number one – the primal preppy lad.

If you happen to fall under this category be assured if you play your cards right you will be spending the balance of your summer getting laid with abandon. But to make sure you are reading under the correct heading we need to qualify whether or not you fit into our wide definition of what it is to be a preppy in the first place.