I’m not naive on the topic of people swinging both ways. My father now lives with a man after having being married 25 years to my mother. For purposes of perspective, let’s call me the straight man in this scenario – rather, for the sake of clarity, the straight woman. I am not your average Joe(sephine), but as far as orientation goes, I’m totally straight: never even made out with another woman for money at a college party, have no interest in women romantically.
My best friend, she’s straight too, or so she says – and when she does say it, she does so in the same sentence as, “and I date women.” She’s going on a date with a woman tonight – a masculine woman, but definitely a woman. She hasn’t dated or hooked up with with a woman in years; I thought maybe she was over that phase – the girl on girl phase, or so I considered it – but maybe it was inconsiderate of me to think of it that way. It’s just that over the last few years, she’s seemed committed to males, expressing her specific love for the male anatomy.
I could see people saying she’s bisexual… by definition, I suppose it would be hard to debate that – but I would never call her bisexual. Bisexual has a a ring to it that knowing her, doesn’t suit my friend…. she’s more like morphis sexual, a term I just made up. This entails an “it depends” attitude, morphing her sexuality as it goes along without categorical restriction.
When talking about her dating life she says, “I have to say, I definitely have double standards. I don’t want my man dating guys, but I would expect him not to be upset that I’ve dated chicks. I might even expect him to let me have a girlfriend while I’m dating him, as I have in the past.”
For the sake of being literal, she said she may expect her boyfriend to let her have a girlfriend, too, but still, many may see her attitude as selfish. Knowing Drusilla, when Drusilla says she’s straight, she’s not saying it in denial – it’s just a matter of fact statement. She doesn’t put a lot of thought into it; she does what she does and wants who and what she wants as a straight woman. It’s like vegetarians who say, “But I eat chicken.” Obviously they are not really vegetarians, but do we have the time to argue with them about it, especially if most of the time they don’t eat chicken? I bring up the famous quote by the filmmaker Renior, “A murderer is not a murderer all the time.” Shall we change that humanistic quote a little and also say, “Drusilla is not a lesbian all the time?” Not exactly the same idea, but somewhat relevant.