How to give cunnilingus and survive… (courtesy of Reddit.com)
We couldn’t resist printing the story below. Make of it what you will but we do wonder, does this mean the end of the world is here? Sex is getting more dangerous, never mind the hair in your teeth. And if you vomit, we apologize.
So a few years ago I had brought a new girl back to my apartment after being out drinking all evening. We were too drunk to make the beast with two backs so we passed out until morning.
When we awoke we started kissing and canoodling and I decided to go down on her. This is one of my favorite things and generally will do it as long as it takes to make a girl orgasm…
Anyway, I head down south and pull down her panties to see the hairiest bush i’ve ever seen in my life. Not only is it hairy but the hair is very long and also messy looking, kind of bedraggled. Like a homeless guys beard or an abandoned birds nest.
Slightly less enthused but still determined I plunged in face-first and started getting busy. The taste of this beaver, if possible, was worse than it looked. It was fetid and bitter and to make matters worse I had numerous pubic hairs caught in my throat which were tickling me and making me cough.
I decided to pull back for a second to regain my composure. I thought if I pulled open her lady-bits I might be able to have a better angle of attack on her clit. I opened up her pussy to a terrible sight. There were multiple lumps of what looked like cottage cheese dotted around her pussy lips and clit.
Each lump ranged from a few millimeters in width to half a centimeter in size. It looked like some sort of fungus was growing there.
Needless to say I was fucking revolted and started gagging. I knew that despite my love of pussy I could not go down on her again without puking my guts up. I mumbled some excuse about a headache and not feeling good and fled to the bathroom, whereupon I spent ten minutes washing my mouth out and brushing my teeth.
Even now I shudder when I think back upon “cottage cheese pussy girl”.
Edit: Thanks for all the amazing and disgusting stories guys. WARNING: For the naive and inexperienced, this thread may be a little too much! In fact, even for the prolific and deviant this thread may be too much!
Edit 2: As an interesting aside to my story, I actually still have this girl on Facebook AND I have photos of her from the morning it happened, I was trying to take some artistic “sleepy girl in bed” shots. No i’m not posting them.
Edit 3 A friend just pointed out to me that the girl from my story is now the Lehman Bros of spank bank material. Perhaps if you ever have a boner and want to lose it sharpishly you can think of cottage cheese?