It seems one Boise, Idaho couple got more than what they bargained for after moving and settling into their new home when one early morning, two weeks ago they came across the drunken visage of Matthew Coomes, 25, taking a dump on their family floor.
The good shit (literally) came to take place two Sundays ago when Jake and Tricia Gillaspy awoke in the new home they’d just moved into, only to find an inebriated and stark naked Matthew Coomes standing over them in their bed. Naturally it’s what’s next that took place that is the real eye opener:
Told Tricia Gillaspy via KTVB-TV: ‘My husband grabs the gun because we have no idea who this guy is,’
‘He’s like, ‘Get out of my house, now!’ But the guy wouldn’t leave. So, he puts the gun to his head, and says, ‘I said, get out!’”
Eventually Coomes takes to walking out at gunpoint while all the while her husband is on the line with 911. Yes kids, I know you can just imagine the commotion right now.
Continues Tricia: ‘He’s like, ‘There’s a guy in my house. I’m going to shoot him, you better get a cop here now,”
Around the same time the police arrived, the Gillaspies surveyed their home and realized they were going to have a $1,000 cleaning bill, on account of all that poop on the carpet and of course the walls:
“He took this sink sprayer out and this drawer was in there. He put it in the drawer, turned it on full blast hot water, it filled that entire drawer full. It flooded my entire kitchen,’
‘He craps on my floor, and he must have been playing in it because he streaked it down the side of my walls. The stain is gone finally, thank goodness.’
Coomes, who apparently slipped in through an open back door, ‘told police he didn’t remember going into the home or using a spray nozzle in the kitchen.’
Told Tricia: ‘He said he also didn’t know how feces got on the carpet or why a t-shirt and a pair of underwear he was wearing ended up on the floor of the home.’
To make misery worse, Tricia and Jake told instead of taking our collective hero off to jail, cops instead simply wrote Matthew Coomes up for a pair of misdemeanors, even giving him a lift home. Police later opened an internal affairs investigation on why our collective hero didn’t face stiffer charges, and county prosecutors are now expected to pin a felony count on him, too.
Vocativ tells our collective hero reckons he has no memory of the rampage, adding he also has no idea how his T-shirt and underwear ended up on the floor of the Gillaspys’ home.
Pressed to describe the entire affair, Tricia Gillaspy told KTVB: ‘It’s just a mess.’
Quite literally one imagines…