Recently Clare Ettinger, a 17 year old Richmond Homeschool prom attendee came out with a compelling blog of how she came to be victimized at the hands of ‘sleazy’ fathers ‘ogling’ her and other female attendees on account of her being too sexy, well at least in their eyes.
This naturally led to organizers demanding she leave because of virtue of her femininity and how stuff like that can send males a little batty and into slut shaming tendencies.
Richmond Homeschool Prom attendee ejected because she was causing dads to think impure thoughts
There was also a question of whether her boyfriend, an African American teenager may have also put off organizers. All food for delicious thought, until that is I received this letter (reprinted below) in my inbox from Ann Duncan who actually worked as one of the volunteers of the evening of when Clare Ettinger was asked to leave, who has come to tell quite the interesting version of what may have actually gone on.
What may have gone on to be curt is Clare Ettinger pulled on all of our emotional heartstrings and painted a disparaging picture of organizers and attendees to circumvent what may have actually happened that evening- Clare Ettinger did actually dress inappropriate and may have after all pushed the envelope until organizers, volunteers and attendees couldn’t help but take note. It’s certainly a lesson for how we in the media go about reporting the news, sensational news that is. See what you think….
To give a more balanced report of the circumstances, I sent a letter to my local news outlets. I haven’t heard any reply, so I’ll give you the letter directly.
Recently, a young lady was asked to leave the Richmond Homeschool Prom because her dress was inappropriate. She was angry and posted her version of the events on her sister, Hannah Ettinger’s blog, which then got picked up by news outlets and went viral. The story reported in the media has a lot of spin that needs clarification. I volunteered at the dance, and witnessed the dress first-hand. In the internet-posted picture, she has pulled the spandex dress down so that it is fingertip length, but at the prom the hemline sat right below her butt cheeks. The dress was definitely not appropriate for a high school prom and did not meet the dress code when it was allowed to ride up.
My family isn’t ultra-conservative. We homeschool for secular reasons. My daughter wears a sports bra under a cut-up top for sports, and bikinis to the pool. We believe expressing one’s sexuality is a healthy part of being human, but there is a time and a place for that expression. The dress in question was better suited for clubbing in New York City than for an even held by a private organization. Also, this event was held by a private organization, not a public school. They are allowed to develop their own dress code based on their values. No one would bat an eye if a man were asked to leave a black tie event for wearing jeans.
She also talks about “all the dads on the balcony. . . ogling.” I was in and out of the dance room, but the most I ever saw were 4 or 5 adults spread out on the balcony. It was dark, and crowded. It would have been impossible for her to tell what they were looking at, much less if they were leering lustfully 20 feet above. The words used by the young lady to describe the events were specifically chosen to debase the parents who inconvenienced her. For example, “ogling” makes the dads out to be perverts, instead of concerned parents debating about the right thing to do. The media used her words without seeking out the view of the other side simply because those words were sensational and attracted attention. Now, I’m not asserting that there were no pedophiles present at the dance – an unfortunate fact of our world is the abundance of creepy, often dangerous, people – but I didn’t witness or hear about any behavior that deserves such vile labeling. If there was such behavior, it wasn’t coming from the balcony.
There has been much speculation about the true reason for this person’s expulsion, the leading idea being her boyfriend’s race. However, there were other multi-racial couples in attendance, as well as what looked like a lesbian couple Therefore, I think these claims are baseless.
I don’t know whether or not I would have asked her to leave. What concerns me is the assumptions that the media and its viewers have made about the events. There has been very little investigation into the nature of the events. It frightens me to think that reputations can be destroyed for the sake of a sensationalism. The danger is that people can be swept up by the passion of emotionally-charged (but uncontested) claims, and the result is a mob mentality of self-righteous anger inappropriately directed toward innocent people, an anger with no basis in truth. And this danger is already coming to pass. To many in the online community forming opinions based solely on the words of one young lady, the events at this dance seem to be reinforcing hurtful stereotypes. For example, that all homeschoolers are socially-inept, right-wing, fundamentalist, purity-ball-attending, creationist prudes whose fathers are closet pedophiles and mothers are jealous, frigid whore-haters. Buying into stereotypes like this is an ugly and disquieting trend.
I don’t want this young lady’s reputation to be ruined by her grab for fifteen minutes of fame. We all look back at certain parts of our teen years and cringe. I just hope this doesn’t become her defining moment. It would be utterly terrible if the truth comes out, and then something really does happen where she needs to rally her troops. She would no longer have her integrity to support her, and perhaps not her friends and family either. Almost as bad is if she learns that being the victim gets a bigger reward than being accountable. It makes me sad to consider that our young people are encouraged to develop unethical character by commercial-driven media and titillated voyeurs, hungry for their next fix.
I noticed the manager/volunteer woman was not addressing a very key point the girl made which was “why was I singled out from other people wearing high dresses?”
BOTTOM LINE: Any dress can ride up (including a floor length skirt). If you want to say “it can’t ride up easily” then that has to be in the dress code. If you specify a rule for people to go shopping with (fingertip length) then you are stuck with what people buy that meets that rule. Just common sense…
This happened 4 years ago and you just now want to come for me? Sweety the ‘mom’ was the one that brought up the bathing suit comparison AND the fact that she doesn’t know if there are pedophiles or not at a kid’s dance. Now as a parent I would be a lot more concerned on if there are pedophiles at the dance than if her skirt is short. That is wear having a couple “options” for those out of dresscode comes in. If the skirt is riding up you hand her one of the options shorts to put on under the dress or a one size fits all house dress. Boys most will not be out of code other than needing a belt. We don’t want to see either gender’s underwear or lack thereof. Also if you give a choice be in code or leave, then it is a very clear lesson of personal responsibility and both sides are able to have a resolution that is a compromise. Now booboo try to get current my damn kid is already halfway through his college years and you are dragging me back to teach common damn sense.
she was present, and Duncan was interviewed by local television stations where she slut shamed Claire and bragged about throwing Claire out
Her daughter wasnt wearing a bikini at the prom. Apples and oranges. Nice try. Also how DARE she choose to NOT read peoples minds to determine who is a pedophile. What kind of reliogious fanatic judges people on visible behavior?
Doing ok, thanks. Glad to see this young lady is fighting the nonsense!
How are you doing now?
That is my guess too, and I know because I lived it. While I attended a large, mostly poor NYC public high school, and did so in the 1990s, when long prom dresses were the fashion, the dress I chose was a bit low-cut, and I have what my (abusive a-hole) mother referred to in disparaging tones as “a body.” In my case, it was the (conservative-minded) male students who lashed out at me for dressing in such a way.
The female students who despised me merely made up a rumor that I’d gotten breast implants, and both agreed I was a “snob” for refusing to date guys in my class…in reality, I was just in the closet and not ready to come out yet. Regardless of whether the complaints come from male or female students, it’s important to keep in mind that teens, like adults, can be a petty lot, and are often motivated to lie when they feel threatened.
Know that I am as real as I am sincere. And there are far more people like me than you realize. Beneath the shadows, behind the veneer lurks THE ETERNAL RIGHT!
I am sure you would. So much for the tolerance of the Left. The pendulum at some point is going to change. And when it does, the soft tyranny of the left will be repaid in spades. And it is going to be as beautiful as it is horrific.
people stop replying to him, his comments just prove that he’s nothing more than worthless racist trash (personal he’s the type that if it was legal i’d rip the fucking throat out of and let him bleed out in the middle of the street)
you never thought for a moment that it might have been a simple spelling mistake did, no of course you didn’t you like the commenter above you are an idiot only difference is that the person above you is lying through their teeth to try and make the parents and the school look better than they are oh and the word Sheldon meant was “fundagelical” check google it is a word
The fact that this author brought up a whole lot of unrelated details lessens this article’s integrity. Also, learn to use commas. Thanks for wasting my time.
If this Ann Duncan person WAS NOT PHYSICALLY PRESENT during the time that prom organizers had asked Claire to leave the premises (and she does not state in the TV news interview that she was in proximity to that hallway conference), then I really do not know what sort of stock, if any, we can put into her refuting of Claire’s statements….especially when Claire stated that the specific individual had TOLD HER that it was some of the student’s father’s who were complaining about her attire and her dancing, well…..
…..not to mention that this Duncan lady, by utilising statements such as – “….. her grab for fifteen minutes of fame” has pretty much made up her mind as to her perception of what happened, regardless if it did occur as she says it did or not!
Very bad Poe’s Law attempt
Not to mention she has done 0 interviews the only one contacting EVERY MEDIA outlet and finally sending an email to this loser is mama deepthroat who can confirm the dress was sooo short it shocked her even though her daughter wears bikinis BUT that same parent is not as concerned that she can not confirm there were not any pedophiles there chaperoning!!!!
And before the socio-pathetic play attack me I’m a grown-up so bulling me like you are the child at your dance you can not prove there were no pedophiles attending *cough* priorities*cough* I also did homeschool for a while so yes there are some real winners in that community but they were the minority as majority tended to be broken up into families on either end of the educational spectrum and the REAL actual kids that are falling in the cracks. For the mouth breathers that would be the learning disabled and those in the top 5%. As evidenced by the fact that this young lady’s “home school program is similar to my teenlet of dual enrollment I’m very sure she has a far better comprehension of how to dress and act appropriate to a social situation than Mama-wanna be and the sad little teens who are slandering the girl because they saw her flip them off at exit and well that whole getting called out by the entire universe tends to get some that ARE in those cults that are a large segment of this Richmond group. Again you are spending time attacking a 17 year old that was sexually harassed instead of being EXTREMELY worried that you can not be certain there were no pedophiles at the dance PRIORITIES Miss X Deepthroat P.R.I.O.R.I.T.I.E.S!!! And Psst wanna be extra extra got the scoop idiot blogger THAT was your REAL story here if you want a ZINGER See ” Parent Chaperon “Can not confirm there were NO PEDOPHILES” at dance girl was kicked out of for “short dress”!!!” THAT YOU IDIOT is a flipping story and is not slander…
let’s see attack teen as lier with NO PROOF other than to grab on to a troll’s idea that she pulled down the dress for the picture. guess what the dress meets the dress code which means it was only needed to be told to “pull down” the assertion is that she was only told to leave after she just exhausted these poor poor men that had to take turns talking about her… yeahhh seems MORE likely this “mom-chaperone” wants some 15 seconds since she has been ignored by all those media outlets she has been trying so hard to get on… opps did she want to retract that outing of HER motivation and she is sad that the Richmond prom isn’t going to happen anymore since they got ripped on till they had to delete their page. She also made sure to talk about her own daughter’s bikini wearing so could be a I want MY DAUGHTER to get to be on TV and she must have missed that the young lady is not even doing interviews to protect her privicy soooo yeahhhh that whole attack oh wait the legal term would be SLANDER the teen girl see note she also could not promise there were no pedophiles there I would be hella lot more tucking concerned that you took your kid to a dance you are unable to confirm there are no pedophiles at than wither a sexually harassed teen has a short skirt THAT IS MEETING appropriateness guidelines.(YES telling someone that men are worried about her dress to a point of making her feel uncomfortable and unsafe is SEXUAL HARASSMENT!) Author you need to rephrase or well ya know her legions of supporters might think you should be added to the people who should be sued for asking her friends receive refunds and she be apologized to. Cause honestly you look to be a scumb-bag wanna be trying to get a hit so I personally will be contacting all the advertisers on your page and let them know I will no longer buy their products till they insure their adds do not fall on your posts.
First, that is not her surname. Second, the grammar used it horrendous. Goes to show how little you know.
That response tells me everything I need to know about you as an author and this publication in general. Low quality gossip trash.
Her hair is certainly highlighted but it is unclear what her natutal hair color is. Regardless, she is of exclusive Northern European descent, and her posterity much be safeguarded.
As for your last sentence, no that is not at all what I am saying.
If you looked “closely at Clare and her classical features. . .” you would notice that she is NOT a natural blonde and LOL at you for assuming Tyrion is a black name (and yes, that’s my assumption that you assumed that). Tyrion and I (regardless of his race) are getting a good laugh at that!
So you’re saying that the grown presumably white men that were allegedly ogling Clare should be kidnapped, beaten, had their eyes gouged out, shot and their bodies disposed of in a river?
If you’re not concerned with the accuracy of your story as long as it’ll get readers, you are doing exactly what you seem to think “Clare Ettinger” did, so I think we’re done here. This is a tabloid website anyway.
Not as bad as you imagine to get a rise out of you Kevin ….
Clare had no idea her story would go viral; she just wanted a place to talk about what happened. She made that very clear on the blog where it was posted, so I don’t know where you’re getting this shit about pulling a fast one on the media, or grabbing for 15 minutes of fame. Her name isn’t even Clare Ettinger. Check your sources, dude. Also, you’re a bad writer.
The pictures clearly show that her dress is fine.
It has become evident there is a community that is determined to perceive the homeschool community through narrow-minded, uninformed and dated perceptions. It appears to me that most folks condemning Richmond Homeschool Prom volunteers is based solely on their choice to be homeschoolers. Clare is deemed to have integrity simply because she has used trigger words and stereotyped notions of homeschoolers. It is insanely frustrating as a liberal, feminist homeschooler to see what any other day would be “my people” perceiving my friends, children and community in such ugly, narrow-minded ways.
Spotted the bigot!
With a name like Tyrion, I *WANT* you to disagree with me.
To address your points briefly for those reading along, whether the dress is indecent or not, it IS revealing. Men will look. Those involved in the decision indicated the dress was hiked up to her.
And yes race mixing is–in my view—a problem, I would suggest the biggest problem of all. This is for the reason I stated.
Look very closely at Clare and her classical features. The blond hair, blue eyes, fair skin. The men and women of our posterity will not continue if young people, particularly young women are continued to engage in this sort of behavior.
And yes the media is Jewish controlled. Sumner Redstone, David Geffen. Virtually all ceos of the major media conglomerates are Jewish, and have been for quite some time.
And yes, I yearn for the day and age when the Emmit Till treatment was regularly meeted out for this. Perhaps what once was shall again be Hope and pray.
…wait a minute hold on. A lot of your statement makes little sense.
She’s wearing (what appears to me) appropriate makeup, she’s wearing a dress that conforms to the dress code set up by the prom’s committee. How is she slutted up?
>I denounce miscegenation.
…
are you serious? Are you fucking serious? The problem here, in your eyes, is the race of her boyfriend? Who, by the way, from what we can tell is dressed appropriately, respected the subject of the investigation, kept his cool – all signs of a decent person. I fail to see how his race plays into the situation.
>The semitically controlled media transm–
Okay, I can’t take you seriously. I cannot take you seriously at all. I’m sorry, but I vehemently disagree.
How do you know the group is run by “funigelical” (interesting made up word), people? Do you know them personally? I personally know the person who wrote this response and she isn’t a fundamentalist, evangelical Christian as you seem to be implying. I know several people who had kids attend the dance in question as I am a homeschool parent in the Richmond area (I am very far from a fundie), and they all told the same story of the event as the one presented here. I think that the girl was embellishing the events to fit what she wanted. She wanted to feel persecuted, not responsible for her own actions.
Several jealous teens were upset that Clare was allowed to wear a pretty dress, while they were made to wear sack-like dresses. That’s proof of what exactly?
First, pedophalia pertains to sexual desire for PREBUSCENT CHILDREN. Of course if she is a senior at a prom, she is likely 18. Be that as it may, even at 17, 16 or even 15, that is not pedophalia. At best that is ephobophalia, and that only if it is a fetish where someone is particularly or exclusively focused on post adolescent jail bait fare.
And yes a nubile well stacked blond slutted out is going to get looks. And it does not make a man a pervert for glancing. It is hard wired in us.
As for the interracial bit, I denounce miscegenation. Consider this, a posterity filled with women (and men) who look like that is NOT POSSIBLE if people commit miscegenation. I personally long for the days when the Emmit Till treatment was meeted out for such outrages.
Of course the semitically controlled media transmits an endless barrage of poison encouraging young women to do as she does.
These and other reasons why I steadfastly adhere to THE ETERNAL RIGHT!
You make up pretend words like Sarah Palin,…fundigelical? Please!
If you actually go online and search for the other side of this story, something few have actually taken the time to do, you will find several blog posts by the actual teens who also saw her actions. So yes, plenty of non-adults who are angry that Claire’s account was not an honest one.
Why sexual abuse is common highlighting a false story all over every new source does zero to help those with very real stories of abuse…it actually damages it 🙁
Honestly I don’t know, but I think responsible media ought to publish two sides of the story. It may well be that the young woman did embellish her story or outright lie. We weren’t there. Let’s not put it past wounded egos to create wonderful stories that stigmatize and perpetrate diatribes- it is after all what the media excels at, so why not a 17 year old via the force of social media?
Do you honestly think a group ran by a bunch of fundigelicial parents is truly going to be honest about this or that it’s far fetched to think that the dads may have been leering at her in such a closed culture where pedophila and sexual abuse is so common?