‘I am overwhelmed’ : Jaded corporate chick seeks personal male assistant on craigslist.

I am overwhelmed : Jaded corporate chick seeks personal male assistant on craigslist.

Kids here comes a craigslist ad that had my gills flaring. It involves that of a disenfranchised, overworked ‘artsy but professional’ Manhattan chick in her early 30’s who finally seeks the paid company of a personal male assistant.

Feeling left out by the fact that she’s been watching men all these years advertise for ‘hot chicks‘ to assist she’s decided to take the plunge and now get hers too.

As you will soon read all she asks is that you hold her hand from time to time as her ‘corporate’ life implodes whilst you look adorable and are able to come up with the appropriate comforting words and guffaws.

Of course it would help if you believe in god, get her when she talks about art and have a few good pics of your ‘dick’ and of course one of your face too.

Just be 23-27, male, who loves beanies, is smart and who doesn’t mind being paid $150 for ten hour days babysitting a ‘self hating‘ corporate chick with a jaundiced soul….

Shouldn’t you be applying guys? Unless of course you already have…

ad reprinted in full:

 

So, for years I had seen postings by guys, usually corporate types, looking for young hot chicks to personal assist. I thought they were such assholes.

Then I found myself in need of a personal assistant–I am a 33 year old woman–and I realized I was the same exact way. The reason I need a personal assistant is to decrease my stress level. I am a guy’s girl and if I am going to delegate to someone I don’t want to worry about this person’s feelings, our “dynamic” and all that Massengill commercial type bullshit. 

The ideal candidate would be like, completely adorable, have some connection to arts/media, be semi-codependent, have an affinity for cool ass bitches in their 30s, common sense, a ready smile, a tender heart, zero sarcasm, and if you secretly believe in God that would be amazing. I basically just need you to hold my hand while I invoice and take care of about 1000000000000000000 horrible to do list items and prevent me from self destructing due to my innermost self hating my own success. That’s why I can’t have a bitch on board. None of y’all hipster transplant chicks in this city ryde or die enough to be a good PA. Would you bitches take a bullet? Nah hell nah. The ideal candidate (23-27, male, loves beanies, smart) knows exactly what type of lil cracker ho bag I’m talking about. Omg my adventure in New York City! Selfie! Artisanal yeast infection trustafarian retard. Ironically this girl would work her ass off for no pay but I can’t deal with her taking selfies “here’s me and my uber cool boss at the DMV!”

In short – 150 for 10 hours a day of the easiest most hilarious job ever – babysitting a 33 year old creative industry professional with a kind heart and a ragged soul.

Yeah send me a pic or five, dick pics are ok but one should be of your face :))) por favor

Please don’t like Kubrick

Thanks

  • Location: Manhattan
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: 150/day cash, lunch, Stüssy beanie bonuses and shit

  • JWS10

    Not enough money for that job description! I think she needs some sound therapy to build up her self esteem! Step at a time, my dear, step at a time!