Making news this Monday is the interesting assortment of yummies that managed to jostle up and down in Brooklyn this weekend in nothing more than a cute jockstrap and a bow tie all vying for the indelible honor of being crowned the owner of the smallest penis in Brooklyn.
Participating in the fist annual Smallest Penis Pageant in Brooklyn were according to gawker 6 participants;Perry Winkle, Sugar Daddy, Rip van Dinkle, Quinette (a French national who failed to make it to the final round on account of getting completely plastered and getting it on with his wife) The Delivery Man, and Flo Rider.
Participating at Kings County Bar, the men were required to participate in three invigorating rounds where they got to show off their unique spunk. All for the grand prize of $200.
Explains the villagevoice: The contest was dreamt up by Kings County Bar manager Aimee Arciuolo after a satisfying night spent with a man endowed with unusually meager proportions. The point was to dispel the myth that less is less, though this Saturday afternoon in Bushwick only ever walks the line between spectacle and celebration, never quite crossing over from the former to the latter.
Round one purportedly involved evening wear. As I wasn’t there I dare not imagine what that means in the context of a smallest penis pageant in Brooklyn but I would hazard to guess that this means ribbed socks, glittering bow ties and the occasional condom jingling somewhere, or not.
Round two tells gawker brought out dance numbers, hand made farting sounds, raps, and jokes. The third and final round featured swimwear—tulle sewn to a an elastic band—and water guns. Can anyone guess where the water guns were aimed at?
From there an eventual winner was awarded, the Delivery Man (but does it really matter who actually got to win?)
For those keen to see the festivities up close I would encourage you to go to gawker and for those of you to admit that your pecker is not the smacker that you may have once envisaged or aspired it to be, nevermind cause you can always make a lovely fool of yourself and use your manhood to entertain and gob smack us in other ways.
Because size doesn’t really matter at all. It’s the way you use that shit that matters….