Kids it was only a matter of time but we are finally here, the thing called the fire sale of Lindsay Lohan‘s over extended cinematic existence in which she is now offering her sulking ass to the best bidder for, wait for it, your guest wedding and Bat Mitzavah appearance.
Page Six: A talent company claiming to represent the troubled actress wants us to know their client is available for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs.
Page Six received an email pitch from 123Talent with the subject line “Book One of Hollywood’s Biggest Movie Stars Lindsay Lohan Now!” offering us the opportunity to request the presence of Lohan herself at whatever event or venue.
Kids can you imagine now turning up to your your niece’s bat mitzvah and finding Lindsay Lohan casually hobnobbing amongst guests (for a giant fee no doubt, define giant fee- free blow courtesy of the valet, free drink until the bar closes?), small talking the usual bullshit, glibly shaking your hand, biting her lip as your phony ass told her how much you love her and her getting agitated and shit faced and looking for an empty bottle to crack your obnoxious ass with? Yes that would be my Lindsay and definitely every penny worth paying to have as a major draw side show after we all said our wedding vows and moved on to after party favors and shit.
Isn’t it time you invited Lindsay Lohan to your next Christmas party kids?
1800 LINDSAY EVERY NICKEL HELPS