How to make lots of money off golden sponged caked with creamy fillings…
Whilst news of Hostess‘ impending closing of its doors has set a mad dash by consumers to hurry up and stock up on Twinkies before they are forever gone the unimaginable has happened. Higher up execs are actually making a fistful of money where they couldn’t before after announcing that they were once and for all going to have to close their doors due to a continual slide in business which led to them having to declare bankruptcy.
The final decision to close operations came as a result of company workers refusing to agree to a deal that would have seen their wages and benefits cut as Hostess scrambled to find a remedy to its colliding fortunes which will soon it close up to 33 plants and now lay off 18 500 workers as well as being forced to put its snack brands up for sale.
Hearing the dismal news that Twinkies were probably going to be hard to next to impossible to come by going forward (unless another confectionary steps up and buys the brand) this led to the perverse knee jerk reaction of ardent fans rushing to stock up to the brim allowing the company to make money that they weren’t making prior to its announcing the closure of operations. I know life can be so unfair and ridiculous at times.
The closure has led to large queues forming at outlets where Twinkies are sold with reports that supermarkets are now fast running out of the good shit.
And then there’s eye grabbing report via the UK’s dailymail:
In New York City, many grocery stores had run out of Twinkies by mid-afternoon, with only Hostess’ less popular products left over.
The shortage led to the snacks selling for wildly inflated prices on eBay and other online marketplaces.
One opportunistic seller managed to offload a box of 10 Twinkies – which would normally cost no more than $5 – for $60.
Which of course raised the notion perhaps the company ought to hold back on the last of its inventory and just sell the damn lot through Ebay?
But just in case you think company executives are singing the blues comes the following:
Think Progress: BCTGM members are well aware that as the company was preparing to file for bankruptcy earlier this year, the then CEO of Hostess was awarded a 300 percent raise (from approximately $750,000 to $2,550,000) and at least nine other top executives of the company received massive pay raises. One such executive received a pay increase from $500,000 to $900,000 and another received one taking his salary from $375,000 to $656,256.
Meanwhile executives were trying to get rank and file employees to accept a deal that would’ve seen less wages and benefits, can anyone really blame employees for refusing such a deal that essentially allows higher ups to profit off their backs?
Yes capitalism really is a dirty word sometimes and sometimes is just a disguise grab what you can whilst you can to the best of your ability even if it means cajoling, coercing or lobbying to get the good shit passed that will help get you rich at perhaps other people’s expense. Which explains the American dream of why everyone wants to be rich off the back of everyone else. Of course that shit never works out when everyone is allowed to browbeat others, it’s best reserved for those who are best in the position to shit on other individuals, ie your boss. But let’s put Marxism theory aside for now and run to get ourselves a Twinkie before even all that shit gets hoarded up.
In the interim execs are looking to offload their brand to other companies and have already begun reaching out to other confectionary manufacturers. Let’s hope when they arrive at those other companies doorsteps they have the good grace to bring with them a few boxes of Twinkies and of course I’m betting a bottle of Dom Perignon to down all that shit down now that they are golden parachuting safely to nirvana.
Isn’t it time you lived the American dream too?