Kelly Osbourne slips into a neon green bikini and the tears begin melting down my face….
Personally I’ve never understood the allure for Kelly Osbourne, she has achieved nothing greater than simply being the daughter of a famous singer, Ozzy who managed to turn his somewhat lopsided persona on display and sell it all as a miraculous tour de faith reality TV show, which of course brought the visage of Kelly, his irreconcilable daughter.
Nevertheless Kelly for reasons not clearly understood by me has nonetheless managed to spawn a career as a consummate media whore and living up to her name Kelly over the weekend took to wearing a rather ghastly lime green bikini which I assume was supposed to highlight her rather successful weight loss campaign but only led to me and the chipmunks that like to scurry under my feet whilst I consider the daily floundering of people like Kelly and her elk to wonder what could have possibly inspired her when when she chose to wear this little monstrosity.
Nevertheless the camera boy was there to capture the mayhem as Kelly went about the daily business of being Kelly and of course reflecting on how existentially woeful it is to be Kelly in a place like America.
Reflects the media whore (I am in a rather
pissed off fun mood today can’t you tell?).
via dailymail.co.uk: Kelly said she has never felt like the most beautiful girl around – something that means she has struggled to fit in in Los Angeles where looks are traded upon like currency.
‘It’s more competitive there – but I don’t feed into that ever because I don’t want to be the prettiest girl in the room. That’s not me,’ she said.
‘That’s why I don’t fit in in the U.S. – because I don’t care about that kind of stuff.
On the contrary Kelly me and the chipmunks think ‘the whole be yourself and be shown’ jamboree act works quite well. If only we could all be paid huge sums of money to open up about our pet loves and hates and idiosyncratic dispositions. Something that would hardly work too well back in Blighty cause them English people still have a hard time believing that one can ever take the salacious musings and reckoning of an
nobody upstart too heart. But then again perhaps the same could be said of my hero Kim Kardashianwho by now has become a staple of media whoredom here in the US 24/7.
But then a stroke of clarity kids:
‘I have tried hard to be a million different people and it didn’t work out for me. The only thing I can be is me.’
‘I have been to hell and back – 17 times in my life,’
‘It just… you gotta start living life on life’s terms. It isn’t perfect. Things come your way. You have to see it as a lesson. You have to make mistakes and learn from them. It’s the only way to grow.’
That said let’s hope Kelly has learned from that afternoon’s mistake; ‘I shall never wear neon lime swimsuits which draw the ire of grumpy tabloid trash writers…..’