Ryan Lochte is a preferred hawt bixch too…
Looks like Olympic swimming star Ryan Lochte has had to go out and do some house mending pursuant to what he terms ‘misguided’ appreciation of his
slam them and leave them dating life courtesy of Ike Lochte his mother.
Said the 27 year old’s mother to Today.com on Thursday : ” he goes out on one-night stands. He’s not able to give fully to a relationship because he’s always on the go.”
Hmm. Only goes out on one night stands? What a hawt bixch. He must have them hos lining up around the block to get a chance to hit that good shit.
Yet alas, our new preferred collective hero realizing that mom made him sound too much like a slut (cause corporate America signing those post Olympic endorsement checks gets giddy at the suggestion that its into hazy behavior) had to go back to today.com and tone that shit down, cause this is America and once you become a super hero, one night stands have to go back in that closet called ‘don’t ever talk about that shit publicly.’ Especially when some fortune 500 CEO is in the middle of writing you a check or two.
Said Ryan Lochte in his follow up interview:
“I know what she meant by it. What she meant is that I’m not in a relationship so I do go on dates. It’s not that negative part … She had nothing negative.”
‘They took it out of context. My mom is really new to all of this and the media. She meant since the last 4 years I just wanted to focus on swimming, and I didn’t really have time for a relationship. When I’m in a relationship, I want to give that person my entire heart and I wasn’t able to ever do that because of swimming. I’m always on the go. So what she meant is that I do go out on dates. But its not that thing that everyone is talking about, because that’s not me. I’ve never done that and never have been like that, so I don’t want people to think that about me.”
Then realizing that she may have screwed up her son’s potential endorsement package career after the Olympics (let’s not beat around the bush) Ike Lochte then had this new shit to tell USA Today Sports, “All I wanted to say is that he’s so sensitive about not wanting to hurt a girl dating, so he just goes and dates and takes out a girl for maybe one or two dates and doesn’t have a relationship because he doesn’t have (time) and it’s not fair to the women.”
She added, “I’m not used to this. … What kind of mom is going to say that [about her son having one-night stands]? Especially being a mom and having two daughters.”
Too sensitive. Bixch wants to be fair? Is this mankind’s wet dream to humanity?
But just to make sure any potential endorsers down the road weren’t still too put off by his mother’s initial back handed compliments(I know, who doesn’t like to indulge in the occasional one night stand but pretend to keep that shit top secret when pay day comes), Ryan Lochte made another effort via twitter to clarify that although he may America’s fastest swimmer and hawt bixch to go (yes I have been air kissing those rock hard abs too) ultimately his just some homely jock who at the end of the day wants to also be a proud dedicated husband and dad cause that always sounds better than him butt fuxking 19 year olds back to back and then discarding them cause his Olympic gold metal platted ass can now do that.
Never mind, I’m sure Ryan is a keeper, but whether any of you bixches panting for him are you will have to wait to be notified by twitter via Ryan Lochte’s mother….