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Scientists have finally come up with the healthiest meal ever. Get ready for a superdish tonight!

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Scientists have finally concocted the superdish.
Scientists have finally concocted the superdish.

It’s said to have taken years of research but scientists are confident that they have come up with the ultimate superdish. 

Going over 4000 health claims, scientists whittled down the list to 222 items which were deemed super food. Super food that is which will leave you filled, with the right nutritional value and of course be tasty too. Possible? According to the scientists of Leatherhead Food Research, that is an emphatic yes!

dailymail.co.uk: Health-giving components include Omega 3 fish oils, which are good for  cholesterol, and folates, found in high-fibre multigrain bread and which boost the brain and developing babies in the womb.

The menu starts with a fresh and smoked salmon terrine, which contains Omega 3 and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) which is good for the arteries, heart and brain.

An accompanying mixed leaf salad with a dressing of extra virgin olive oil is good for maintaining normal blood cholesterol levels.  Chicken casserole with lentils and mixed vegetables is a particularly nutritious main meal, with the study showing it could safely make 80 official health claims. 

The protein in it ‘contributes to a growth in muscle mass’, while the pantothenic acid found in lentils can help reduce tiredness and ‘improve mental performance’.

Kids, tell me you’re not fawning at the mouth and swearing off french fries and pepperoni pizza (what that didn’t make it on the list?).

For dessert, a live yogurt-based blancmange topped with walnuts and a sugar-free caramel-flavoured sauce scores well as being good for digestion, the teeth and blood glucose control.

The inclusion of guar gum in the dessert is said to help in the maintenance of normal blood cholesterol, while lactulose ‘contributes to an acceleration of intestinal transit’.

Kids are you starting to get the feeling that this diet although fantastical on paper is just too unbelievable and a bit too healthy? Whatever happened to fried Chinese rice with pork or that sticky shit that I can never get enough of that sticks to the bottom of my teeth?

The scientists also included their own sports drink creation which could genuinely claim to boost performance. Its many ingredients include micro nutrients such as biotin, calcium, zinc, chromium copper, iron, potassium, selenium, and magnesium.

Which is to say champagne and the good grog might not make it on this super diet after all. Hmm, that of course presents a quandary of sorts.

And here’s the one thing that you will be stretching to acquire:

As a final helpful thought, the experts recommend activated charcoal tablets, which contribute to ‘reducing excessive flatulence after eating’.

Isn’t it time you left the good shit you spent a lifetime getting unhealthy on and swapping over to something wonderful, nutritious and healthy? Of course there will always be the weekends for those Gruyère cheese hamburgers that you’re probably doling on right now. Isn’t it a drag being super healthy?

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