Where paradise begins and hell ends…or is it the other way around?
The world has been put oh high alert since Dina Lohanmade an appearance with Access Hollywood where the part time troubador (her lyrical pronouncements make your ears bleed) and full time media whore (I still adore you Dina, it’s just me Scallywag doing my job keeping your phony ass in check…oh dear) made a point of gushing over her very hawt mess, Lindsay Lohan.
Said the proud mother with the onset of her hawt bixch making an appearance as Elizabeth Taylor (who must be choking on diamond pellets somewhere in heaven) in the lifetime movie, ‘Liz and Dick(head)’
“There’s so many similarities [between them] … the tabloids, they attacked [Liz] as well,” Dina continued. “She’s really learned a lot, she’s grown up a lot.”
“This town is tough… Lindsay is 25, so it’s for her to talk about her demise, or whatever was going on at the time. I felt as a mother, yes, I’m going to protect my children publicly, privately, I kick their butts. I’m a single mom, of course I do!”
Of course that’s like a wealth manager at Goldman Sachs telling you they’re going to make as many phone calls as it takes to get that one shithead on the board of directors who keeps blocking your bid to own the money making machine you want to take public, but then again what do I know about ‘single’ parents cheering their hawt messes on for ultimate glory? I’m just the lonely son of a misguided stork that hatched before a rodent could get to it.
And for mother’s day? Surely Lilo will have something in store for mommy once she hobbles out of a gutter somewhere downtown in the next few minutes?
“Lindsay will plan something.She’s good at that and she’ll dress me.”
Yes, Lindsay will dress Momma as Elizabeth Taylor and between the pair of them they will hustle to a slow waltz of sizzling pork ribs on the backyard bbq, a gallon of the bubbly good shit, a carton of red Marlboros and a pleasant afternoon of back slapping, proud that they are somehow alive and still at it.