Home Scandal and Gossip Congratulations! You can finally order nude maids to do your dishes.

Congratulations! You can finally order nude maids to do your dishes.

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The
'Lubbock Fantasy Maid.'

It was bound to happen and now it has, the wet dream experience of every messy bachelor to be had- the nude maid. 

It all began when Melissa Borret hit on an idea. How could she go from being a lowly paid nobody waitress at a strip bar to a highly paid no body? That’s when it struck her getting around half naked or completely naked might be the cash winning cow that she had been scheming for all along. And how do you think Melissa’s business has fared since making a go for it? The skid marks are still wet and soggy in the state of Texas where Melissa Borret conducts her business ‘Lubbock Fantasy Maid.’

nydailynews: The 26-year-old told the Daily News she came up with the idea while working as a waitress at a local strip club, where she couldn’t find enough work and wasn’t thrilled with the management, whom she described as “chauvinistic.”

“I had heard of this kind of service being available in other cities,” Borrett said. “So I started the service in Lubbock, where I would have no competition so I figured it (would do well).”

And well she has done indeed. With Melissa’s hourly rates at $100 or $150 for two (oh Melissa do yourself a favor and jack the price up to $300, the lads wont mind, just be sure to ‘scrub’ a little harder and quicker if you know what I mean…) there doesn’t seem to be anything holding her back from much desired riches, except….

A Lubbock Police Department sergeant told a local TV station that he believed Borrett’s business needs, at the very least, a permit because he believes it is a sexually-oriented operation.

“Just the fact employees are topless or semi-nude in this case — it’s just not allowed,” he told KCBD-TV.

Oh what a spoilt sport! After all what’s really in a half naked seductress on her knees efficiently scrubbing at the floor to real life gals swinging against a metal pole having fist loads of dollars thrown at them?

And what type of girls does Melissa like to have come knock on your door?

Her employees, she said, are not the women you may expect.

With the exception of one employee who worked as a waitress in a strip club, Borrett insists that none of her maids are former strippers.

“This is just a maid service with some really friendly girls and we just happen to be comfortable with (cleaning) without any clothes on,”

Hmm. Kids do you think I should send Melissa my resume along? Although I will have to confess I’m a little hairy on the backside, nothing that a stiff drink will do take the surprise edge off once I turn up with my brillo. Right Melissa?

And what if I want to ‘help’ the maid get the ‘job’ done a little faster?

“At no time may a client ever make physical contact with the maid,” the website warns. “A maid may accept tips, however if a maid accepts tips for physical contact she will be terminated immediately and the customer will not be able to schedule services with Lubbock Fantasy Maid Service again.”

Which is another way of saying my hairy ass better stay put in NYC cause you know them bixches are going to want a lap dance or something devious once I turn up in my cute haute couture see throughs. Please and you thought this shit was rated PG. Perez Hilton is that a way bixches.

Oh dear kids, isn’t it time you put aside your college degree and your IMDB card waiting resume aside and headed off to Texas and became a hawt bixch maid for hire?

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