Kids there was a time that the a run of the mill hipster could park his ironic ass on a stoop somewhere on Berry or Bedford and ironically scoff at those around him as they rushed to work, attended to menial things they would never dare attempt or at the very least nuzzle to the knowledge the land of Bedford avenue and its criss crossing $4 caffe latte streets were his for the taking.
But that alas has changed with what these self entitled poseurs (sorry us real Williamsburg types moved out sometime in 2004 the minute we noticed your ironic trucker hat and dopey eyed expression hobnobbing along with a crushed Pabst beer can) insist is the harsh result of local cops hazing these unfortunate souls and making them consistent targets of sudden frisks and mean tactics.
Reports the nydailynews: The latest U.S. Census figures showed that whites make up about 59% of the 90th Precinct, stretching from the yuppie condos lining the East River waterfront to the hipster-and-Latino-heavy Bushwick border.
White guys in Williamsburg said that poor artists and aggressive bike messengers will easily catch an officer’s eye.
“It’s not about race. It’s about class,” said goth guitarist Nate Morgan, 20, detailing several recent encounters with cops in East Williamsburg. “I have a mohawk. They stereotype me.”
Nate let me clear you bixch. I also have a mohawk, except you can’t see it. Which is to say in my dusty and torn Saville Row suit I am more punk rock than your sorry ass has ever known the time of day. Really Nate, must an old timer who has had guns pointed at his head before you took your thumb out of your thumb explain to you the essence of hipsterdom?
Must I tell you and your drunken elk that proclaiming to be individualist but dressing exactly alike your Midwest brethren is what makes you all sheep and the easy target of coppers who can walk blind into any puddle and catch half a dozen of you putrified in your piss, stoned out of your mind and scoffing some trust funder bullshit that doesn’t impress anyone except yourselves? Really Nate hasn’t it occured that them coppers are only doing a public service by keeping an eye on you lot who refuse to ride bicycles with brakes on them?
Let me be correct you Nate, it ain’t about class, it’s about manners, poise, grace and consideration that you or your brethren fail to have acquired. As for my niggas who used to get arrested before you arrived, they’re now smiling sitting on that stoop and mouthing ‘that white honkey ain’t know shit.’ And you know what Nate- they’re right….