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The most fxcked up break up letter has finally arrived in your email in box….

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Kids there’s nothing worse than being ruefully dumped by a lover/boyfriend/girlfriend. Especially when you least expect it. Especially via email (although I hear text is pretty popular too).

That said this morning I received the following break up note from one of my female friends who shall remain nameless. To say that I was completely beguiled is an understatement. It certainly deserves a read and perhaps you too will wonder about the hazards of going out with self entitled pompous men. Unless of course you happen to be one yourself.

ps- The promised goods also finally arrived, albeit second class this morning (hence why this note was passed on to me)  as opposed to the promised ‘priority post,’ when Jill (not her real name) first received this email just over two weeks ago from Jack (not his real name).

Have a read and ask yourself how this little note stack ups in relation to some of the most fucked up breaking up notes you’ve ever have to write or receive. Or then again maybe you’re the type that just pretend nothing is wrong in the first place until you stop communicating all together- I like to call that the I can’t be bothered to return your text/email/phone call break up. You’ve probably had a few of those yourselves I’m guessing. I know I have.

Who knows maybe the key to a good relationship is coming clean with oneself and from time to time clean with the person who happens to be the center of your affections, until you receive or send them notes like the one below.

 

From Jack: With the level and intensity of career forwarding deadline work before me it is a time for us to take a step back. We are also such different people living very different lives. Each relationship is unique. I am your true friend and it is my hope that you continue to feel this way too. I simply do not feel we are designed to be a couple. Our time together has meant so much to me. Each of the moments and especially the nights we shared have been real and I shall remember them all. You have me as a man to trust who wishes you a beautiful life and future. You should have all the time needed to make yourself physically well. I know you will arrive there. You are warm and amazing and will only become more so with time. I do not believe my feelings here are such a surprise. This is never easy. Talk in a few days. Please send me your mailing address and I shall Priority Mail all the bathroom products you have here.

Thx- Jack.

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